The Pursuit of Excellence
by Alabaster Crow
Summary: The Inquisitor and her Military Adviser are barely more than strangers, yet the undeniable attraction that began at first sight is pulling them together despite their attempts to take things slowly
1. Chapter 1: Suddenly Cullen

**The Pursuit of Excellence**

By: Alabaster Crow

The Inquisitor and her Military Adviser are barely more than strangers, yet the undeniable attraction that began at first sight is pulling them together despite their attempts to take things slowly.

**Chapter 1: Suddenly Cullen**

Tahlya Trevelyan, Inquisitor, and the sole survivor of a singularity event that came to be known as the tearing of the veil, headed quickly back towards her chambers. Usually she made her rounds of the keep each night before retiring herself; however, it had been a very long and trying day.

In addition to being waylaid while on her way back from a meeting with one of the local lords, she'd ended up having to deal with an angry head groomsman.

"Damn that man," she muttered under her breath as she walked down the main corridor of the . "The audacity of him to suggest that I should not have ridden that horse so hard!" she muttered under her breath. "What would he have me do; stop to rest the poor thing so that we could both end up killed?"

She was annoyed, weary, sweaty, and no doubt smelly as well, after an entire day of riding around the countryside making her presence known to the locals. In truth there was nothing she wanted more at the moment than a hot bath, followed by a meal.

As she approached the end of the corridor, she slowed down and tried to move as quietly as possible. Sure enough, as she crossed the open doorway to the war room and looked inside, she found that Cullen, her military advisor, and the de facto general of her armies, was again working late.

He stood, bent over the large wooden table which held all their local maps, braced upon one arm, while his other hand stroked his chin thoughtfully. The light of the fire turned his reddish-blonde hair a molten golden color, and lit his face in such a way that he looked much younger than his 30 some odd years.

Tahlya shook her head as she all but tiptoed across the doorway. If he were to find out that she'd gone out unaccompanied… Well, she had no desire to have him face her down over this. Not that she had ever been on the receiving end of his displeasure, but having seen several of his soldiers taken to task, she certainly would rather avoid it. He had a controlled way of showing his displeasure that made those on the receiving end feel as though they were completely unworthy of his attention.

Having successfully snuck across the open doorway, she pressed her back against the wall and cautiously peered around the doorway, while at the same time berating herself for wanting to take another look at him.

He was now sitting back in one of the large chairs, his hands steepled before him, seemingly deep in thought.

It was the fourth night running that she'd found him here at this late hour. Did the man have no personal pastimes? Did he not drink? Did he not sleep? Had he not a single friend he might pass some time with?

Then it dawned on her that he had actually been spending time with her of late. Each of them had, in turn, found excuses to linger after meetings or chance encounters with each other. It was as though something powerful was pulling them towards each other; something neither of them seemed able to resist.

Although she did not know the man well, she was indeed attracted to his quiet demeanor, his unwavering moral compass and even to his intellect. That intellect itself was far above that of most other educated men she'd met.

And then of course there were his looks. Maker help her, but she'd never met a more attractive man. From the moment they'd first met she'd been rendered nearly tongue tied, and that was far from her normal way. In the month she'd known the former Knight-Captain, her attraction had only grown stronger, as they began lingering longer and longer together. The more she interacted with him, the more of him she wanted.

She frowned suddenly as she realized once again the folly it would be for an Inquisitor to fall for her military adviser. There was too much potential for disruption in the organization…

"What have we here?" came a whispered voice from the shadows behind her.

Wheeling around, she found Cassandra leaning on the wall behind her. The seeker was for once out of her armor and dressed in soft, expensive leathers instead.

Carefully moving to peer around Tahlya, she gazed into the room and then withdrew again into the shadows of the corridor. "Oh, I see," she smirked. "You really are taken with our former Templar, aren't you? Who could miss that how much time you two have been spending together of late?"

"Well, you have to admit there is something very different and appealing about him," she whispered back. "From what I've heard he's experienced more horror and sorrow then most people could ever tolerate, and yet his faith in himself and his fellow man seems unshaken."

"I've heard all the stories, and more," Cassandra replied. "Of over two dozen Templars trapped in the Kinloch circle tower, he was the only one who did not give in to temptation. He was the only who survived."

"Yes, so I've heard. And he then went on to become the Knight-Captain of Kirkwall. Quite an accomplishment, that. Still I know precious little of him beyond that and I am not exactly certain how to ease into asking him about his past."

"Then let us retire somewhere more private and I will fill you in," the Seeker offered.

"That sounds like an excellent idea" She answered readily. "I have a fine bottle of wine that I am willing to share with you in return."

"Ladies," Cullen greeted from right behind her.

She jumped and snapped around to face him, causing him to smile.

"I pray that the evening is treating you well?" He asked, his eyes locking with hers as he twitched his lips in amusement.

"Ah, Ser Cullen," Cassandra greeted him. "The inquisitor and I were about to trade stories of our exploits."

"Yes, I believe I heard a bribe of fine wine being offered?"

Tahlya's heart skipped a beat. Just how much had he overheard? With her face flaming, she did her best to cover. "Well you know Cassandra; she's quite good at gleaning information from others, but if you want her to share what she knows, you have to bribe her."

"I see. May I ask just who it is that she is passing information about?"

"You may not!" Tahlya replied sharply, which only caused the Templar to chuckle softly. He had intentionally baited her!

Before she could think of anything more to say, Cullen turned towards the other woman. "It seems you have a good thing going there, Seeker. I shall have to remember to extract a fine bottle from our Inquisitor should she ever seek to gleam information from me."

Cassandra nodded and then shot Tahlya a calculating look before addressing him. "I don't suppose you would care to join us? I'm certain you've many fine tales to tell."

At that the blond ex-Templar turned incredibly pale.

Tahlya, who'd been stunned by his flirty words, recovered enough to try to ease his obvious distress, "Peace, Ser. You are still welcome to join us if you wish. Your own tales can wait until such time as you wish to share them."

He bowed slightly at her. "Thank you, my lady. It is only that tales such as mine should never be told before bedtime. As to your invitation; you are kind to include me, however I've a few things to see to with regards to my men. Also the head groom wished to see me." The look he shot her let her know he had not missed her reaction to mention of the groom. "I bid you both a good evening," he finished, with another small bow. Then he turned sharply and stalked silently down the corridor towards the main gate.

"He even moves like a lion," she whispered to Cassandra.

"Indeed he does," the Seeker replied.

"He's a Templar no longer, and may lead his life as any man wishes, yet he seems loath to keep anyone's company," she reflected aloud, as she turned to face the Seeker. "He's pleasant, polite, intelligent, discreet and an incredible military strategist..."

"Don't forget to add very quiet to your list," Cassandra chimed in.

Tahlya nodded. "Yes it is amazing that someone who has no qualms about openly speaking his mind in public when it comes to military tactics, rarely speaks a word to anyone otherwise." She shook her head. "I find it baffling that he would hold himself so apart from the rest of us. He's never joined in any of our banter, or dinner conversations."

Cassandra fixed her with another of her famous smirks. "You know they always say to watch out for the quiet ones. But aside from that; he does not stay so apart from you, and it sounds to me as though you are both quite taken with each other."

She grinned back. "If I were not his commander, and if I even came close to matching his beauty, then I could at least consider trying for… a closer relationship," she sighed.

Cassandra seemed surprised and stared at her in a shocked manner.

"What?" she asked. "I'm saying that I will behave myself where he is concerned.

Cassandra looked her up and down, taking in her golden skin, long, blue-black hair and unexpectedly blue eyes. "Then you are a fool," the other woman finally replied sharply. "It is not only what you perceive that matters. You are in fact quite beautiful, and I believe that Ser Cullen favors you greatly. I've caught our good Templar's gaze lingering on you quite often when you are unaware, especially when he feels he can get away with it. And he goes out of his way to come up with reasons to gain your notice."

Tahlya stared at her. "You must be mistaken," she huffed.

"Not at all; I just thought you should know that I believe he would be receptive to you trying to get to know him better. I grow tired of watching you both dance the dance. It would be best for all of us if you two would sort yourselves out quickly, and have done with it."

She felt her face flush with embarrassment and then relaxed and sighed. This new information left her conflicted. It was one thing to observe decorum of her position when she felt there could not be something more with the former Knight, and another thing altogether when she'd just been told her feelings might be returned, and that their behavior was already distracting to the rest of the inquisition.

"Come," she spoke. "Let's retreat to a more private location. I believe I promised to share my wine with you... in exchange for information, and you have already whetted my curiousity."

Cassandra smiled; a rare thing indeed. "After you, Serah."

As they made their way up the stairs to the second level, Tahlya collected her thoughts. The truth was she knew little about Cullen outside of Cassandra's recommendation and the rumors they had all heard. From what she could tell, he was a brilliant strategist, who led by example, and his men made it clear they would follow him anywhere. His military advice thus far had been invaluable.

Should she risk her pride and flirt with him? At least his reaction would let her know whether he was truly interested. Still, the man was an enigma, and she was no fool; pushing for more could end up placing them both in an uncomfortable situation.

As she reached the door of her suite, she stepped aside to allow her guest to enter first. The entire front room was a comfortable sitting area, with chairs on the opposite wall, in front of a very large hearth, and a table and chairs further away in the room to the right. The double doors leading to her chamber were on the left. There were two great windows, one on either side of the fireplace, which were covered in thin muslin curtains. These were drawn to the sides during the day and pulled closed at night. Tahlya moved to a side table and opened the wine, then poured it into two fine glasses. Gesturing for Cassandra to make herself comfortable in one of the large chairs in front of the fireplace, she followed and then offered her guest one of the glasses.

Sinking down into her own armchair, she watched the fire as she took in its warmth. It did much to relax her tired bones and sore joints.

Cassandra took a sip of her wine. "Mmm... and this is really good," she sighed, relaxing into her armchair as well. "Thank you."

Tahlya took a sip of the wine as well and smiled softly. "It is very good, isn't it?"

For a while they sat in comfortable silence, enjoying the wine and warmth. Then Cassandra began to speak, "I learned of Ser Cullen through Varric."

"Yes, he likes to remind us all of how you two met."

The Seeker actually sighed, "And at every conceivable opportunity I might add!" Then she sipped her wine and continued, "As for our favorite Templar, by the time I actually met him, he and his remaining men had already retaken Kirkwall. Along with Captain Aveline and the city guard, order had also been restored, however it had been a brutal battle and in the process Kirkwall's defenses were decimated.

What few people realize is that Ser Cullen was actually the de-facto acting Knight-Commander during that time, and though he keeps it to himself, that is his actual, sanctioned final Templar rank.

I found him holed up in the Gallows, both sleeping and working out of his former superior's office. He was badly injured; you can see but some of it on his face. He'd fought and patrolled the streets until he could no longer stand. Then he slept and went out until he was again unable to continue. He was a figure that the populous rallied behind and in the end it was the willingness of the citizens to help patrol and fight that won the day. I was told he also refused a healer; not because he distrusted them, but because he said such events should never be forgotten. He told me later that it was his penance that his person should bear the reminders of that battle; that his scars should remind himself and everyone else of the dangers of inaction."

Tahlya raised an eyebrow. "So he feels he missed an opportunity to avert the disaster?"

Cassandra nodded, her face suddenly grim. "Let me tell you the entire story, from the time he was stationed at Kirkwall until the time you first met him. As for what happened at Kinloch Hold; I have but the written account as put to paper by Knight-Commander Gregoir. Only Cullen himself knows the full story, and I'm not certain that it is one he will ever tell…"

Three hours later Tahlya sat before her fireplace combing her fingers through her long hair as it continued to dry. She'd changed into a pair of deep fawn colored, knee length boy's breeches, topped by a light blue, long sleeved dress shirt that hung down over her hips. Buckskin suede knee high boots completed her ensemble. It was comfortable, and a look few women would dare, but one which she knew she more than got away with.

After Cassandra had taken her leave, she'd had the servants draw her a hot bath and then spent a long time relaxing time in it, only emerging once the water was cool.

She'd spent the entire time in the tub ruminating over the stories Cassandra had told of Cullen. She was no longer surprised by his manner of holding himself apart from the rest of them. Indeed she could well imagine the trauma he still endured. Quite honestly she was surprised he was so functional. Her esteem for the man had grown considerably, but so had her doubts about his stability.

The minutes ticked by, and eventually she realized that her hair was dry enough. If she left it down it would be completely dry by the time she turned in for the night. She also realized that she was starving; she'd missed dinner due to her late return from her ill-fated tour of the gentry, and had been too busy to notice until now.

It was well past midnight and she reasoned that no one would be about to see her in such casual attire, and with her hair down and still damp. It was time to do something she often times did; raid the larder. If any of the cooks had left some dinner warming near the hearth in the kitchen, she would consider taking that as well.

She moved quietly and steadily down the second floor corridor, down the stairs, through several main floor corridors, and then down the long winding stairs to the kitchen areas in the lowest level. When she made a sharp right turn, intent on entering the larder, she unexpectedly collided with someone exiting that very room; someone large. Stunned, she struggled to maintain her balance, but fortunately a strong hand shot out and grabbed her upper arm, steadying her.

It was only then that they got a good look at each other in the shadowy corridor.

"Ser Cullen?" she exclaimed, staring up at him.

He'd been looking her over, and his admiration gave way to a stunned expression when he recognized her voice.

"Inquisitor!"

"Relax, Ser," she laughed. "I believe we are both off duty right now."

With a soft sigh, he did just that. "I... What brings you to this part of the fort at this maker- forsaken hour?" Releasing his grip on her arm, he instead captured a damp lock of her hair, playing it through his fingers as he regarded it in a distracted manner.

Completely taken off guard, she managed to clear her throat, which seemed to bring him back to himself. He quickly withdrew his hand and met her gaze. "Are we really raiding the pantry at the same time, both of us having just bathed?"

It was only then that she realized his hair was wet and combed back to dry. Numbly she nodded. "Apparently so."

He shook his head in amusement and lowered his voice into a conspiratorial whisper. "I myself am here for the cheese." At that he held up a small wheel of the item in question and removed a loaf of bread from under his arm to show her as well.

Tahlya found that she was having a hard time keeping a straight face. "I see I am not the only one who missed dinner! As for myself; I heard that there was a shipment of fresh pears," she admitted. "I've another bottle of wine that will go well with the fruit."

Cullen smiled, but then his assured demeanor suddenly seemed to vanish. "Urr... perhaps we could share our pilfered spoils?" he suggested tentatively. "We could take our late meal together? After all, I did dress down the head groom on your behalf."

She groaned. "Uh… thank you. As to dining together; that is an excellent idea," she replied. "Keep watch a moment while I find those pears..."

It took her only a minute to locate the burlap bag of pears and liberate two. When she met back up with Cullen in the corridor, he gestured for her to lead the way. She led them straight to the kitchen, where she was able to snag a still warm pot of stew. Cullen took it and carried it for her as they made their way up towards the main level.

Once they'd exited the stairs, Cullen went on ahead, stopping at the war room. "Shall we?" he gestured in the doorway.

"You're not very good at sneaking, are you?" she teased. "What good is it to carry out such a raid when we could easily be caught in this huge room? Come along; I've a private sitting area where we can enjoy our spoils uninterrupted."

To her chagrin he remained rooted in place and turned positively scarlet. "Um... I couldn't possibly..." he sputtered, painfully embarrassed. "It would be unseemly. Perhaps the dining room instead?"

Ex-Templar or not, Tahlya was taken aback by his reticence. "There is no need to fear for my reputation, or your own Serah," she replied. "My sitting area was set up for the express purpose of chatting informally with my advisors. You need have no worries of us becoming the latest gossip."

Rather than setting her advisor at ease, her statement seemed to discomfort him further.

"Oh, urm... ," he fidgeted, "then perhaps we should make certain that the servants are aware of your sitting room's purpose?" he suggested, nervously.

"What do you mean?" she asked more sharply than she had intended.

He looked her right in the eye, suddenly seeming more like the self-assured tactician she knew him to be. "It pains me to say, my lady, however you should know that there are already wild rumors circulating about you and Liliana," he explained.

Her mouth hung open as she was temporarily rendered speechless.

"Ah," he continued. "I know of Liliana's… proclivities, as do most of the staff, but I placed no credence to the rumors. I sincerely doubt anyone who truly knows you would believe a word of it."

"Why am I only hearing about this now?" she ground out. "And why is it that it was left up to you to tell me? Surely Lil knew about this? That is her job; knowing secrets and rumors."

He fidgeted uncomfortably. "You are too professional to risk your reputation for the sake of a… dalliance with an adviser," he reassured, with a strange intensity. "Am I not correct?"

His real meaning hit her instantly, and she took a deep breath as understanding dawned. Somehow the correct words left her mouth nearly without conscious thought, "For a mere dalliance; no," she replied, looking him in the eye. "However I have no problem with those working for this organization acting out of love. It may well be the end times, Ser, and love that is not selfish or misplaced could well see us through the worst of it. I ask only that people remain discreet and that such relationships not be allowed to interfere with our mission."

She had the satisfaction of seeing his blush fade, as a small smile lifted the corners of his mouth. He nodded to her, his eyes never breaking contact with her own. "Well said, my lady. Well said."

She allowed herself to smile back. "And on that note, please allow me to go fetch the wine."

As she turned to go, he spoke softly, "Lady Trevelyan, please allow me to accompany you. If you don't mind, I've changed my stance on making use of your sitting room."

She nodded over her shoulder and continued on with him following close behind, while butterflies danced in her stomach.

To be continued….


	2. Chapter 2: Tales of Innocence Lost

**The Pursuit of Excellence**

By: Alabaster Crow

The Inquisitor and her Military Adviser are barely more than strangers, yet the undeniable attraction that began at first sight is pulling them together despite their attempts to keep their relationship professional.

**Chapter 2: Tales of Innocence Lost**

As she retrieved two clean wine goblets, Tahlya was pleased to see that Cullen was lighting some candles for the table. It felt good seeing him jump right in, unafraid of rummaging around for plates and utensils despite it being her personal space. With her setting out the goblets and pouring the wine as he portioned out the food, there was an agreeable air of domesticity and fluid cooperation.

"Well, no one can say that we don't work well together," she observed, as she made note of how quickly everything had been arranged.

He nodded as he pulled a chair out for her. "Indeed not."

As she took her seat she found herself trying to keep her smile from growing. Having him all to herself like this reduced her to a quivering mass of nerves and she had to admit that the information she'd gleaned from Cassandra had put her somewhat in awe of him. And then again, the way he changed from a very serious, no nonsense military leader to an attentive and charming, if somewhat unsure gentleman was incredibly endearing to her.

"Uh, hello?"

She came back from her musings to find him seated beside her and regarding her with interest. "Sorry," she laughed self-consciously.

"Would you care to tell me what you were thinking?" he asked, as he began to eat the stew.

She felt her face flame. "Maybe I will... one day; when you know me better."

His eyebrows furrowed and then relaxed. "After these many months I feel as though I know you well enough," he replied slowly, "However I do look forward to learning more about you from a personal standpoint."

"And on what do you base your concept of knowing me well enough?" she challenged. "From my standpoint I do not see how you can possibly really know me at all."

He gave her an indulgent look. "I know your personality, if you will. I know you are usually levelheaded, that you are under most circumstances slow to anger. If at all possible, you prefer to step back and think things through before acting. You have a quick wit and a good sense of humor. You are generally kind and empathetic. You're very intelligent and well learned, and you are an Andrastian like myself. I see in you many qualities I hold in high regard. Most of what makes you who you are is carried where all can see, and I've seen enough to know I wish to know more. I wish to know your story and your thoughts. And, if you so desire, I am willing to offer the same in return... uh... that is if you... wish to know me better."

She nearly melted as he stumbled over his words and then blushed. It was reassuring to know that they were equally invested. She nodded. "You know I do."

At that he took a deep breath, leaned back in his chair and regarded her thoughtfully. "Pray tell me what you have learned of me. What do you see as my personality?"

Tahlya felt no hesitation in doing so. "I see a man who is steadfast in his beliefs, but who also constantly questions his own actions and motives. You are quick to anger when your core beliefs are questioned, but also willing to rein that anger in and listen. There is great kindness and compassion in you, but also a tendency to judge too quickly. You strike me as someone who is at war with himself, yet who can be relied upon to always do what he says he will. Apart from that I see a strong leader who does not sway from what he sees as the right path or course of action. You're brilliant in so many ways and charismatic as well. You lead by example and inspire the loyalty of your men. They would follow you anywhere; do anything you command of them, for they trust that you will do right."

As she spoke, Cullen's blush had returned. He appeared moved by her regard.

Unfortunately, she had one more observation; one he might not appreciate. "I've also seen loneliness in you; of your own making. Others are drawn to you, especially women, yet you intentionally withdraw from overtures of a personal nature. You guard yourself from any seeking more than a professional relationship." She leaned forwards and dropped her voice to nearly a whisper. "This saddens me, Cullen. Why do you feel unworthy of friendship or the comfort of others, I wonder?"

His eyes had at first widened as she spoke, but then moistened. He attempted to hide this by looking away, but then did meet her gaze. "But I am unworthy," he finally stated. "And you are far too perceptive. I find myself at a disadvantage."

"Then I hope you will be able to explain that, for I've never before met a man more worthy. At the risk of speaking too bluntly, please allow me to state what we both already know;" Here she took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "Despite this feeling you carry, you are here, seeking a connection to me. Let me put your conscience to rest; it is I who feels unworthy of you. I've killed many men in the name of justice. I've racked up an impressive number of sins which I seriously doubt you could match. I do not know what you see in me that draws you so, but I am grateful for it."

She released his hand and looked away, certain that she'd more than overstepped her bounds, but before she could withdraw her hand, he captured it in a tight grasp. Startled, she met his eyes.

"It seems we both sell ourselves short," he murmured, a warm look coloring his expression. "Let us counsel each other then. It could well be that together we will find a greater understanding..."

She tried her best to appear composed. "I'm going to need more wine to settle my nerves," she admitted, shakily, as he reluctantly released her hand and lifted the bottle to refill their goblets.

Tahlya dared a glance at him and was surprised to see a wry smirk upon his face. After handing her a goblet, he lifted the other in a toast. "To liquid courage and to deeper understanding."

Tahlya couldn't help but feel relieved by his words, and gratefully gulped half her portion down.

Cullen did the same and then nodded as if to himself. "There are things in my past which I still have difficulty facing. They've shaped who I am and once you know of them you will understand me well enough. I pray you do not turn away from me afterwards..."

She made to speak, but he held up a hand forestalling her.

"Come; let us talk of other things while we eat. Please, will you tell me of your family; your childhood?"

"I grew up in the Free Marches, in the city of Ostwick," she began. "I was the third child and only daughter of... a well-respected family."

To her chagrin, he shot her a piercing look. "I'd heard that you were from a noble family; that you're nobility. Is this not true?"

She almost cringed. "I did not realize it was common knowledge. I've reason to keep that from becoming well known."

He put down his fork. "Will you tell me why?"

Tahlya cleared her throat, suddenly very nervous. "I went to the Chantry conclave to help broker a peaceful resolution to the Mage – Templar hostilities.

My brother accompanied me and our father stopped in on his way back home." She was unable to continue, and found herself staring down at her bowl, reliving the worse day of her life.

She was brought back by the warm feeling of Cullen's large hand coming to rest on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," he said, softly. "I know you were the only survivor."

She looked up to find him watching her with sympathetic hazel eyes. "My other brother was killed by an ox when he was still a child," she managed to say. "My mother died in childbirth along with the babe when I was but five years of age. And many of my cousins and other relatives were also at the Chantry's conclave when the veil tore."

She met his gaze. "Don't you see? I'm now the inheritor of the Trevelyan estate and lands. If word gets out I'll be mobbed with suitors; all of them wanting to be the new Teryn. I've no interest in a marriage of convenience, nor have I the time to deal with such political drama, but it will still be expected of me should it come to that."

Cullen looked shocked. "I... I'd never... They would not dare!" he ground to a halt, withdrew his hand and swallowed. "Tahlya, they would have to go through me... and unfortunately for them, I have the largest army by far. You have nothing to fear; I will brook no threat... to Inquisition business."

"Thank you," she replied. "Hopefully such a thing will not occur. Downing the rest of her wine, she cleared her throat, and continued, "I was raised in privilege; given the finest clothes and education. At a young age I developed an interest in swordsmanship and was allowed to train with sword and shield. I proved to have a talent for it and was soon surpassing all my peers. My days were spent learning how to run the estate, receiving an education, touring the lands with my father or eldest brother, and training."

"Did you have any friends?" Cullen asked, as he finished his stew and began slicing up the bread and cheese.

"There was a servant girl; the daughter of our cook, who was my age. At first we were allowed to play together and we became very close. Soon enough our social status came between us. By the time I was nine I was forbidden to keep her company. I was informed that she was beneath me as she was a servant and that my reputation was at risk.

Still, we would sneak off together when we could, but eventually we were found out." Tahlya sighed. It still grieved her to think of her friend. "I was called before my father and dressed down most severely. You see, my friend also happened to be elf-blooded. Her father died long before I could walk, so I'd had no idea. That was the day I learned just how prejudiced the gentry are. Father let my friend and the cook go that same day."

She dared a look at Cullen and almost teared up at the sadness written on his face. "That is a terrible thing to hear," he said in a low voice. "Did you ever see your friend again?"

She shook her head. "No; they were both gone when I left father's study. I did try to find her years later, but was unsuccessful."

He sighed, "At least she knew you were her friend. I'm sure she knows you were not at fault in their dismissal."

"I hope you are right," she replied. "Anyway, I threw myself into my studies after that and never really formed another close friendship."

Cullen fidgeted in his chair before managing to ask, "And what of love? Have you ever… been in love?"

She felt herself blush to the roots of her hair, but somehow managed to answer him truthfully. "I am twenty six years of age," she replied. "It is a minor miracle that my father did not have me married off by the time I was twenty. Of course I've been in love."

Cullen shook his head. "Are you implying that everyone is capable of experiencing that tender emotion? If so, then I must beg to disagree."

She felt confused by the sudden change in the direction of the conversation. "Pardon?"

He sighed deeply. "It has been my sad observation that many are too willing to misinterpret their feelings or the overtures of others as love.

He ran his fingers through his hair, and then nervously clasped his hands together before him. "I was a Templar for over half my life, and if there is something most Templars excel at, it is observing others. I've always believed that love, by its very definition, is unselfish. Yet I have rarely seen anyone actually demonstrate that fine trait."

Tahlya's mind was whirring as she tried to predict where he was going with the conversation. "What did you observe then?" she asked.

He shot her a disturbed look from under his brows. "Most of the time I saw selfishness; both men and women who were most interested in what their lover could do for them. Rarely did I see true acts of unselfishness."

"I think I see what you are trying to convey."

Cullen shook his head. "What I am trying to point out is that few people are truly capable of romantic love because few are capable of giving of themselves unselfishly. I most often saw real love demonstrated by a parent toward their young child."

"Have you ever been in love?" she asked, determined to steer the conversion somewhere else.

He nodded sadly, "I thought I was. I even cared enough to keep it to myself; after all, what could a young Templar ever offer a mage? And when the time came, I made it easy for her to walk away and not look back. I told her I hated her kind… and at the time I meant it. I regret those words more than you shall ever know."

She was consumed with curiosity. "Who was she?"

"The Hero of Fereldan," he replied, after a few moments of hesitation.

"What?! The Hero of Fereldan?" she exclaimed in astonishment.

He blushed. "I knew her when she lived at the circle tower. Ironically, it seems she found true love in the arms of the King, who also was once a Templar. Somehow they have fought the strict rules governing whom the King may love and remained together, despite the sacrifices they surely each must endure in order to do so."

"Have you ever contacted her since?" she asked, still stunned by his admission.

"No, and I never will; for as I matured and thought back to that time in my life, I realized that I could not have truly loved her. I knew nothing about her; not even much of her personality. You cannot love what you do not know." He reached out to take her hand and brought up to his lips. Lightly he kissed her fingers. "Please tell me; did you truly love the man you spoke of, or he you?"

She sighed. "I thought I did at the time." Here, she felt herself faltering. "He ended up hurting me, and it seemed it was an easy thing for him; he did not regret anything. Perhaps it is as you say; I really did not know him. As it happens, when he turned away from me it took me a very long time to trust again, but eventually I put him out of my thoughts and moved on."

To her embarrassment Cullen flinched. "I see..." he breathed, suddenly reaching for his wine and drinking deeply.

"Perhaps you might speak of your childhood now?" she asked, feeling as though she had failed in some way.

He took another long drink and sighed. "I was given to the Chantry as an infant. I know nothing of my parents or my background. They each nibbled the cheese and bread as he continued, "I remember asking if I had a last name once, and the revered mother told me that I did, but that she was forbidden to reveal it. She told me I must not think that I ever had any other life; that they were now my family."

Tahlya was stunned. "You have a last name? But that would make you..."

"Of noble blood, yes," he replied. "However, that is no longer a valid claim as I was given up."

"That must have been a difficult thing to know," she prompted.

He shrugged. "It was all I knew. Like many such children I used to make up farfetched stories as to why my family had no choice but to surrender me. In due time, after becoming a full Templar, I understood all too well the true reasons for most Chantry adoptions."

"What would they be?" she asked, inwardly cringing at the thought of how the knowledge must hurt him.

Cullen sighed. "The birth of any infant to a circle mage results in the babe immediately being given over. In poor, non-magical families, oftentimes children are given up as they feel they are unable to feed any more mouths. Amongst the gentry a child is often given to the Chantry as recompense for a favor rendered, and sometimes when a lady in the family has hidden a pregnancy occurring outside of wedlock; especially should the father be considered beneath her station. Such children are unlikely to ever be acknowledged should they somehow learn of their parents and attempt to make contact."

"Have you ever sought to discover your particular circumstances?" she asked.

He shrugged again. "To what end? I do not require a last name or title. I made my own way in this world and the titles of General and Advisor to the Inquisitor are well enough, don't you think?"

She shrugged. "That is for you to decide, but I would think you would at least be curious."

He sighed. "Perhaps one day I shall investigate further, but this is hardly the time."

Things seem to about to become awkward so she rose from the chair. "Shall we move closer to the fire?" she suggested, picking up her goblet and one of the pears.

Cullen took his own goblet and also the plate of cheese and bread before following her to the oversized chairs that sat before the fireplace.

They settled in, warming themselves as they relaxed. For quite some time they were content to sit in companionable silence, watching the fire and listening to the patter of rain on the windows, but eventually Cullen resumed his tale.

"Like all Chantry children, I spent my first decade raised with other boys and girls. Each Revered Mother was in charge of six to ten children, all of whom remained under her care until they left her at the age of eleven. In this way, we did feel cared after; as though she was our mother.

I had a female friend at the Chantry. She was something of a tomboy, but she was also bright and funny. I missed her terribly when we went our separate ways. You see, at the age of eleven the boys and girls are separated. I was moved to a different wing, while she and the other girls were moved to a different Chantry; one with a similar wing only for girls."

He stopped and started rubbing his left elbow, while suddenly appearing distressed. "Three years later I overheard two Templars talking about which children had turned out to be mages; and hers was one of the names they listed." Again, he drank some wine and then brusquely wiped his eyes. "I will come back to her in a bit… Like yourself, I showed an interest and aptitude for swordplay. This was supported by the Chantry and I received the finest instruction. By the time I was fourteen, I'd already been singled out by the Templars, and when approached by them I readily agreed to undergo the training. I was quickly relocated to the Templar compound where I began my intensive education. Did you know; they say that Templars receive education even superior to that of the nobles?"

She snorted. "Maybe, however my education was not colored or distorted by the Chantry's need to curry loyalty, despite that my family are huge supporters of both the Chantry and the Templars. We serve willingly; not because we fear to do otherwise."

Cullen's brow furrowed. "It is not like that at all!" he proclaimed loudly, but then at the look she threw him, he sighed. "Oh all right; they do that… but only a little."

She couldn't help but laugh, and he joined in. Then she brought up a subject of keen interest to her, "So, tell me about the lyrium?"

All trace of humor vanished from his face, but after a few moments he answered, "I first took it at the age of sixteen; after taking my final vows," he answered. "The first time was… intense. It is hard to explain, but when you dose, suddenly you feel like you're thinking twice as quickly. Time almost seems to slow around you for a moment. Then, there is a sudden sensation of being grounded; as though all your weight has suddenly settled into your feet. You are no longer hungry, or tired. You stop desiring… anything. You just are; and you're able to focus on problems with an amazing clarity. I think I was addicted to it before the first few months had gone by."

At the dream-like look that crossed his features, she cleared her throat, which snapped him back to attention. "Are you still taking it?" she asked, trying to keep her tone neutral.

He looked embarrassed. "Sadly, yes. I've worked very hard at cutting back my dosage; however in all the time since I left the order, I've only managed to half my usual dose, and cut back to every other day. As it is, by the time I allow myself my next portion, I am feeling quite ill indeed. I don't think I can cut it further without help, and I've no idea how it may even be accomplished."

"I will see what I can learn; inconspicuously, of course."

"That would be greatly appreciated. I've no desire to become a burned out idiot, nor do I wish to find out what would happen to me should my supply be cut off."

"So then; what happened to your friend?" she asked, steering him back to his tale.

Upon completing my training I was stationed at the Circle Tower at Kinloch Hold, as you already know. It's where she would have been sent. Almost immediately upon arrival, I asked after her and that was when I was informed that she had not passed her harrowing."

"Oh Cullen, I am so sorry!" she responded, reaching out for his hand.

He took hers willingly. "I suppose that knowing her influenced my actions at the tower; but whether for good or for evil, I cannot say."

"I don't understand…"

"Of all the Templars there, I had the greatest sympathy for the mages. I saw them as people rather than as vessels for evil. Perhaps if I had been more guarded, I might have seen what was afoot and stopped it before the tower was lost and perhaps I would not have hated them quite so much afterwards."

She squeezed his hand tightly and met his sad gaze. "It is because of your compassion that you survived the tower; that you were able to eventually see that mages are not automatically evil," she nearly hissed. "If not for your friend and your sympathy, you would not be here working with me now to bring about peace; you would quite possibly be one of the red Templars."

A small smile tugged at his lips. "Thank you, Tahlya, but I would still be a Templar; never one of the ilk you refer to. I have, all my life thought things through on my own, much to the Chantry's displeasure, I am sure."

They continued to hold hands for quite some time as they sipped their wine and again fell into a peaceful lull, but soon enough Tahlya roused and renewed their discourse. "I've heard I am not the only one in this keep whose night terrors keep the others from their rest."

"Yes, he admitted. "No matter how much progress I feel I've made in accepting my past, the nightmares continue unabated." He turned to look towards her, his eyes searching her face with something akin to trepidation. "What prompts your nightmares?"

"The moments surrounding the tearing of the veil," she answered immediately. "My brother had just relieved me in the audience chamber. I'd gone outside to get some air and stretch my legs. That is when it happened. The noise, Cullen; horrendous, and felt throughout my head and chest as well as being heard. Never have I felt such terror and confusion! The veil tore from the heavens down to the ground, and I heard the others screaming around me, but I could not see them, for my vision was suddenly filled with an image of another world. And in that world there was a summit, and upon that summit there stood a woman of such beauty…"

Cullen was sitting on the edge of his seat, leaning towards her as he squeezed her hand to gain her attention. "Who was she?" he asked in an intense tone.

She shook her head, "At the time I knew her, but only moments later I could not remember… She reached her hand out to me and I took it. Then there was a boom... a deafening sound, and then the screaming stopped. I felt suddenly displaced… and when I awoke, I was on the ground and all the others were but dead corpses littering the landscape. I have little recognition of what happened between then and when I was discovered by Cassandra's men."

She dropped Cullen's hand and took up her goblet with both of her own; hands which trembled uncontrollably. She drained the vessel and then spoke, "That is what I relieve in my sleep. That is what causes my terrors."

Cullen re-filled their goblets with the last of the wine. "My nightmares always take me back to the Circle Tower at Kinloch Hold," he confessed. "I wonder at us each having been present when the veil tore asunder. Do you think that it might be destiny that sees us both here together?"

"I cannot believe it an accident that we both survived such a rare and dangerous occurrence," she admitted.

For the next long while Cullen told the tale of all that befell him at Kinloch Hold. He held nothing back; even telling her of the trauma he suffered when he'd had to dispatch mages who failed their harrowing.

When she heard his voice crack, it pierced her heart; she felt such sorrow for him. And his account of the fall of the tower had her frightened beyond belief; she could not even imagine how horrible it would have been to live through.

When he told her of the demon's and their torture; of how he'd witnessed the failure and death of each of his friends in turn, her heart ached for him. When he burned with humiliation and yet still told her what the demons specifically subjected him to in order to try to break him, she cried.

And when he was finally done with his tale, she told him how much she admired his fortitude. "For you to have resisted, when not one of the others could, speaks volumes for your integrity, and strength of will. I find myself humbled by your resolve…"

She nearly melted at the depth of feeling in the gaze he turned upon her. "Thank you, my lady. I thought... Well, I thought you might have been repulsed by my past."

She shook her head. "How could you have thought that? You did nothing wrong. Although your trials took place within your mind, this still qualifies as a rape of sorts. You did not willingly capitulate and you had no control over what they did to you. Cullen, you are blameless in this; no matter how… dirty the memory makes you feel. Please will you not accept the truth of what I say?"

Rising from his chair, he strode quickly to the window and leaned upon the frame with his forearm. His head was bowed, his back to her, and it took a few seconds before she realized he was crying, albeit silently.

She rose and went to him then, embracing him from behind and laying her head upon his back in silent support. He covered her right hand with his own; holding it over his heart as he slowly composed himself.

"You cannot imagine the relief I feel right now," he eventually was able to murmur. "I was convinced that all who heard of this would turn away from me. You're support… means more to me than you will ever know and I feel as though a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders."

She squeezed him gently and continued offering him silent physical support, all the while savoring the smell and feel of him as they stood together.

After some time, he wiped his eyes on his sleeve and carefully extracted himself from her embrace as he turned to face her. Lifting the hand he had kept hold of, he slowly kissed her knuckles and then spoke in a somewhat shaky voice, "Come; let us return to the warmth of the fire."

He led her back and saw her seated before taking his own chair and greedily finishing off his wine.

As he did, Tahlya removed a knife from her boot and began slicing up her pear. When she added the chunks of fruit to the last of the wine in her goblet, she noted Cullen's questioning look.

"I can't say I've ever seen anyone do that with pears."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "Then you are in for quite a treat when you try this," she replied, swirling her goblet.

He slouched down in the chair. "I must say I was wondering if I would ever be presented an opportunity to enjoy your company... outside of official business," he admitted, watching her carefully. "It has been several weeks at least since you spent time getting to know the others. I was beginning to think you found some fault with me."

She took a sip of her wine and turned a frank look upon him. "On the contrary," she protested, "You have consistently shown yourself to be perceptive and capable. Somehow I've always felt I could trust you; that your motives are above reproach. Thus I felt no need to rush our acquaintance. Tonight you have proven my assessment of you to be correct. You will have to put up with being my most favored advisor now."

"Patience is a virtue," he sighed, with a small laugh. His melancholia seemed to have finally vanished. When she laughed, he roused himself, sitting upright once more. "How is your drunken pear?" he asked curiously.

Tahlya dipped her thumb and forefinger into the dregs of her wine goblet and removed a piece of pear, which she then popped into her mouth. "Delicious..." she sighed, closing her eyes as she chewed it. When she swallowed and opened them again it was to find him rising from his chair. Coming to stand directly before her, he dropped to one knee and placed a hand on each armrest, effectively trapping her in her seat.

She froze, her breath catching, and found herself unable to do anything but lock eyes with him as he leaned in closer, a smoldering look of want transforming his handsome features.

His eyes flicked from her lips to her goblet and back again. "I think you should have another one," he managed to husk out, his voice dropping in both volume and timber.

Without breaking eye contact, she dipped her fingers back into her goblet, coming up with another piece of pear, but before she could bring it up to her lips, Cullen's hand gently captured her own.

Slowly, he brought her fingers towards his mouth, as her breath caught in her throat.

At the last moment he hesitated, but then carefully enveloped her fingers with his lips, his tongue prying the fruit from her grasp.

She gasped audibly at the first touch of his mouth and then, to her embarrassment, moaned when his tongue slipped between her fingers. Her eyes were locked on his mouth as he slowly chewed the fruit and swallowed, and for a long moment the scar that ran through his upper lip became her entire world.

She felt compelled to kiss him; to feel that jagged line shift against her lips... and it was only after he leaned away and began to stand that the compulsion was broken.

"...Maker..." she groaned.

In an instant he was on his feet and pulling her up to stand before him. Taking the goblet from her, he set it on the table so that he could grasp both her hands. "You are too kind to trifle with me," he breathed, kissing each in turn. "If you do not return my affections I beg you to say so now. For my part, for quite some time now I've held you in the highest esteem. Long have I yearned for your company; even if only for a few minutes. I've unburdened myself to you, and now you know me. If you do not return my feelings, only say the word and I shall never trouble you again."

Her heart was beating out of control; so surprised and elated was she to discover the depth of her reserved and proper advisor's feelings for her. "Cullen," she sighed, looking earnestly up at him. "If you only knew how long I have entertained sentimental feelings for you..."

And that was it; with a gasp of understanding, he leaned down and captured her lips, kissing her soundly. When they came up for air they were both flushed and breathing heavily.

"Maker knows I have guarded my heart too well and for far too long," he murmured near her ear after pulling her into a tight embrace. "but I've learned the error of my ways. The world may well be ending and none of us knows how much time we've left. I'll not deny myself the pleasure of your company." He leaned away, gently took her chin in his hand and tipped her face up so she met his eyes. "I love you, Tahlya."

His declaration jolted through her, especially in light of his thoughts on love. She found herself both shocked and filled with trepidation as she could not say she felt the same magnitude of affection. Her eyes must have reflected her thoughts, for he nodded and kissed her tenderly.

"I understand," he whispered against her lips. "Only tell me that you care and that there is a chance you might one day love me and I shall be satisfied." He smiled gently and hugged her to him again, his scruffy, unshaved cheek gently scratching against her own. "Let me make my intentions perfectly clear; I intend to woo you, and I'll not be satisfied until you admit your love for me."

She found herself smiling, as her heart hammered wildly in her chest, her conscience satisfied. Wrapping her arms around him and burying her fingers in his hair, she pulled his head around so she could kiss him soundly.

"What I feel for you I have never felt for another," she admitted. "Does this satisfy you?"

"It is a good start," he whispered, pulling her up against him and kissing her back with a bruising passion. When his hand pressed against her lower back, forcing her to conform to his entire length, she felt the evidence of his desire press into her belly, and nearly lost all reason.

After another heated moment he pulled away, and gently moved her to arm's length. "It is nearly morning," he murmured. "I should take my leave."

"Please stay," she found herself shamelessly asking, as she gripped his sleeves."

He let out a great sigh and leaned in to press his forehead against hers. "You ask... a great deal."

"Yes," she admitted. "However, if I should die tomorrow, I'd just as soon have the memory of you to comfort me."

"Tahlya…" he groaned. "If you had any idea of what it truly is that you ask of me..."

She instantly felt ashamed of herself. Given everything she'd just learned of the man, how could she be so selfish? She released him and took a step back. "I'm sorry," she whispered, lowering her eyes. "Please forgive me. It was wrong for me to push you so."

When he made no reply, she raised her gaze to find him regarding her with a conflicted expression.

When he spoke, his voice was gruff, "If you are certain of this, then I'll not refuse you, but be warned that on the morrow I'll suffer no rivals..."

"You are all that I want," she assured him.

With a strangely grim expression, he suddenly hoisted her up in his arms, and as she squawked in surprise, made his way towards her chamber doors.

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3: Ill Advised?

**The Pursuit of Excellence**

By: Alabaster Crow

The Inquisitor and her Military Adviser are barely more than strangers, yet the undeniable attraction that began at first sight has resulted in them prematurely developing a deeper relationship. Can they make it work when Thedas itself is crumbling around them?

**Chapter 3: Ill Advised?**

Cullen somehow managed to get the chamber doors open without dropping Tahlya, and once through the doorway, took a quick glance around. Spying the bed, he headed straight for it and bending down, placed her gently upon it while following her down.

Instantly she pulled him to her and began kissing him again, catching him back up in a cycle of mindless want and need. Almost before he realized he'd done it, he had her tunic open and was trailing kisses down to her breast band.

That was when his mind resurfaced, and his face began to flame. Doubts sprang back up; was he really about to do this? Should he tell her first so she would not be disappointed with him?

No; up until now he'd bluffed an assurance he did not truly possess; best that he keep it up. Surely she would want him to lead in this.

Carefully withdrawing from her embrace, he rose and moved towards a large chair that was positioned near the bed.

Tahlya lay there, flushed and impatient with need, watching as her would-be lover stripped off his tunic and dropped it at his feet.

Sitting on the nearby great chair, he quickly removed his boots and stockings, and then stood and removed his belt, his eyes never leaving hers.

She bit her lip as she looked him over, taking in the blush that ran from his face to the top of his chest. Was her skilled tactical adviser shy or was it desire that colored him so? She didn't much care; either way he was... irresistible. She found herself very glad that she'd left several lanterns burning in her chamber…

Approaching nearer to the bed, he placed his hands on his lean hips and smirked down at her. "See something you like?"

She nearly groaned as she drank in his wide shoulders and heavily muscled swordsman's physique. A light dusting of golden hair was sprinkled over his upper chest and ran down his belly in a thin line, disappearing into the top of his breeches. As for them, they did nothing in the way of hiding his well-muscled thighs or the prominent bulge between them.

"Oh Maker, yes!" she breathed. Then she held her arms out to him, "I have never wanted anyone as I do you…"

His smirk vanished, replaced by a smoldering look. Then he was on her, his mouth hungrily moving over her neck as he nipped and kissed his way to her mouth. Just when she thought he would kiss her, he pulled back and she opened her eyes to see him watching her intently.

"Are you certain?" he whispered, tangling his fingers in her hair. "You will be mine, with all that means?"

"I've never been more certain of anything," she immediately responded, cupping his face with her palm.

With a shuddering sigh, he leaned further over her, bringing his mouth down in a crushing kiss.

It unleashed a bolt of pure lust that shot down her body straight to her groin. Breathing heavily, she ran her fingers into his hair and held him close as she began teasing his lips with her tongue.

He went utterly still, as though shocked by her maneuver, but just as she was about to ease up, his tongue poked out to meet hers. A satisfied sigh escaped her and then, as she invaded his mouth, Cullen moaned loudly and engaged her tongue enthusiastically. Quickly, he turned the tables and delved into her, exploring her mouth in depth.

He was breathing hard, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he broke away to trail his mouth down her throat. His fingers finished making short work of her laces and he quickly pulled her tunic over her head, throwing it somewhere into the room. With trembling hands he unwound her breast band.

"You are so beautiful..." he murmured as her breasts were revealed. Then he went to work exploring them with his hands and mouth, sucking and tweaking until her back arched and she squirmed with need.

"Cullen, oh Maker please!" she entreated him, as she tried to pull him back up to her.

He responded by doing as she wished, moving back up her length; kissing her as he pressed himself into her hip.

She in turn rolled him onto his back and straddled him, taking great delight in his gasps as she worked her way down his throat and chest, sucking gently on his skin. Slowly, she moved lower still, trailing wet kisses and nips down his belly.

Shooting a quick glance up at him, she saw his chest was heaving, even as he gripped the sheets. His eyes were dark with some deep emotion, watching her with utmost anticipation as she began unlacing his breeches.

When she closed her hand around him, his hips flexed and his head dropped back onto the bed.

"Oh..." he choked out with a shudder.

She paused to pull his breeches and smalls off all in one, and then rose to slowly shucked off her own boots and remaining clothing, noting that he was again watching her, a fiery need transforming his features.

Crawling back onto the bed, she returned her attention to his groin. "Very nice, Cullen," she husked. "extremely so..."

He turned beet red, which made her smile. "Shhhh... relax," she whispered, as she gently pushed him down. Gently she ran her fingers over every part of him, learning his anatomy and memorizing the way he responded to her touches. Every hitching breath, every choked groan was music to her ears.

When she leaned in closer and took him into her mouth he shot bolt upright, and gently extracted her from his genitalia. "Tahlya... please," he pleaded. "I cannot endure this!"

Before she could teasingly ask what it was that he really wanted, he'd gripped her shoulders and pulled her around so she found herself on her back, with him hovering over her.

At her startled look he leaned in to kiss her nose. "Maker knows I have other plans for us..."

Stretching out so he lay full length against her, he kissed her slowly as he reached down to explore her. Tentatively he stroked her cleft, before gently tugging on her labia.

Tahlya groaned and pushed up against him until he took the hint and ran a finger between her folds, spreading her slick fluids over her.

All the while he continued kissing her, making small noises of approval with each new discovery of her preferences.

When he finally worked a finger into her, she broke. "Cullen, please don't make me wait any longer. Come to me..." She gripped him with her hands, frantically trying to pull him atop her.

"As my lady wishes," he choked out, moving first one knee and then the other between her legs. Shifting his weight onto his arms, he parted her legs, and finally came to rest over her.

They both groaned when he moved his hips until the tip of his member rubbed up and down against her slit.

When he bucked right up against her opening she held her breath in anticipation, but he did something she never would have expected; he held himself back.

"Cullen..." she whined, opening her eyes.

He was watching her intently, seemingly trying to come to a decision. Just as she was about to panic, thinking he'd changed his mind, he lowered himself so that he was supported by his elbows.

"Look at me," he whispered, framing her head with his hands.

She met his gaze and was overcome by the depth of feeling she saw there.

"Almost from the moment we first met, I knew you were the one for me," he husked out, pausing to kiss her passionately. "There has never been anyone else."

Her eyes widened in understanding. She was his first. Rendered completely speechless that such an attractive man had remained celibate into his thirties, and that she of all people would be the one he chose to love, she could only gape up at him in amazement.

He must have seen what he wanted reflected in her expression, because he smiled shyly and kissed her again, only coming up for air when he finally began to slowly press into her, continuing until he filled her completely.

When her eyes closed reflexively at the overload of sensation, he dug his fingers into her hair so that her eyes shot open.

"Keep looking at me," he entreated, looking shaken, as he gazed upon her with a look of such tenderness that it took her breath away.

Leaning in to kiss her gently, Cullen finally began to move, flexing his impressive abs as he slowly stroked in and out of her. "Tell me what you need. Tell me what to do..." he panted, drawing back to make eye contact once again.

She grasped his lean hips and encouraged him to use a steeper angle as she flexed. He gasped, and caught on quickly, beginning to move a bit faster, and a lot deeper, grinding against her each time he buried himself. Meantime, she lost herself in his hazel eyes, whose gaze made her feel as though he was trying to decipher her deepest secrets.

It was almost unbearably intimate, and that intimacy greatly enhanced everything she was feeling; so much so that she was already beginning to spiral out of control. She was able to see his expression shift when he felt the change in her, and it was clear that he could not last much longer.

As she drank in the erotic look of pain on his face, a reflection of the pleasure he was trying to rein in, she felt herself cresting. "Maker, Cullen!" She moaned, beginning to go as taunt as a bowstring.

He whimpered in reply, trembling on the edge himself, as their emotions lay bare to each other. "Tahlya..."

The sound of him groaning her name in desperation catapulted her over the edge. She cried out, her release so powerful that she managed to actually lift him a bit, as she thought her heart might stop.

With a hoarse cry, he came with her; the feel of their joint spasms extending the ecstasy of the moment; their eyes locked together the entire time.

He settled his head on her shoulder, still atop her and supporting his weight on his forearms, as the minutes ticked by and they slowly came back to themselves. For quite some time, he remained hard within her, maintaining their connection as he occasionally peppering her face with kisses or smoothed her hair back.

"Maker's breath; that was your first time?" she finally was able to get out, as she roused from her post coital haze somewhat.

"What can I say?" he smiled, shyly, "Too many lonely nights dreaming of the road not traveled."

She reached out to play with his wavy golden hair, relishing the feel of it and then gently urged him to move off her now that he was beginning to slip out of her. "Maker but you're heavy," she laughed.

He ran a hand up and down her flanks, obviously enjoying the feel of her. "And you're so small that I feel I could easily snap you in two," he teased. "However I happen to know just how dangerous you truly are," he smiled.

She found herself grinning back, and then suddenly sobered as she realized the enormity of what they had just done.

His smile faltered as well. "Something the matter?" he asked, carefully studying her face.

She put her doubts aside and sighed, then leaned closer to kiss him, her gaze running over his features as she tenderly stroked his stubbled cheek. "You're beautiful," she breathed, then blushed to realize she'd said it aloud.

His eyebrows raised in surprise. "You think so?"

"You know you are," she laughed at the coy face he was making.

"Perhaps," he admitted, blushing lightly. "However I hope that is not the sole reason I am in your bed.

She burst out laughing. "Oh, but the thought of me, of all people, corrupting a handsome knight simply because I could not resist his looks; how little you must think of me," she jested.

He didn't so much as crack a smile.

"Sorry," she added, sobering, as she traced the deep scar that cut through his lip. "I admit to being unsure of how our... new-found closeness will affect the organization, but I have no doubts about wanting this. And I suspect you would not be here now if you truly doubted my feelings."

He relaxed and captured her hand, kissing it tenderly. "I cannot say that I like the idea of our relationship being treated as a dirty little secret. Do you not remember the fine words you uttered downstairs outside the pantry? You will never know the joy they brought me."

"Yes, of course I do," she breathed. "It is only that this is very sudden and I do not wish to give the others the impression that it is a mere dalliance. Let's just take our time in revealing our new relationship."

He moved some stray hairs back from her face. "These past weeks working with you have only served to increase my respect and admiration for you. I, of all people, understand how difficult it can be to trust again when you've been sorely used, but I am not the knave who deceived your heart." He gently grasped her chin when she looked away, and made sure she looked him in the eye. "You know I will follow and serve you in all things," he husked. "I am the one person you may trust in, no matter what. If this is what you wish then so be it, but you should know that I will not remain hidden behind you for long." He pulled her against him and held her tightly.

Tahlya's thoughts were suddenly draw back to the memory of their first meeting; she'd been out in the courtyard examining a repaired piece of her armor when Cassandra approached her.

"Inquisitor, may I introduce Ser Cullen? He is the man I told you of, and our top choice as your military advisor." Having made the introduction the seeker stepped back with a small bow as Tahlya turned to greet the former Templar.

She'd been told a bit about the Knight-Captain by Varic; that he was handsome, pious, capable, polite, and could be very intimidating, but she'd been woefully unprepared to meet the man himself. He was big, for one thing; tall and well-muscled, a man who was accustomed to wearing heavy plate and using a heavy sword and shield. He was well groomed and his impressive frame was clothed in a striking set of red and gold lion themed armor. Saying that he was handsome would be an understatement, but there was more to it than that... The scars on his face, the grim set of his jaw, the sharp, calculating expression of his eyes, and the way he held himself all indicated that he would be a dangerous man to cross. She instantly loss all worry that his beauty would outweigh his leadership; no one, be they lady or soldier, would ever take his presence or command lightly.

Then he'd amazed her by quickly going down on one knee before her, lifting his right arm up, with the back of his wrist pressed against his bowed head, and pledging himself to her service if she would accept him.

She'd been temporarily stunned, but had recovered quickly and bade him to rise. When their eyes met...

She returned to the present and smiled at him warmly. "I do trust you above all others. Somehow I have since the day we met."

He responded by reversing their positions so that it was he who leaned over her, and rewarded her by kissing her again. After a time, he broke off to lift his head and glance over his shoulder towards the balcony. "It's nearly dawn."

"You should be going then."

Cullen quickly hid the hurt look that overcame him, but not before she'd seen it. It was obviously a sore point with him to have finally become intimate with someone only to be banished from their bed so quickly.

She didn't like the thought of hurting him by pursuing this course, but felt she had no choice. She reached up to cup his cheek. "I am not ashamed of you, or of being your lover," she soothed. "On the contrary, I could not be prouder of our connection, but I must take care not to alienate your fellow advisors. Best that they slowly draw their own conclusions before we act unimpeded," she emphasized again.

He nodded and with one last quick kiss rose from the bed and went in search of his clothes.

She rose as well and drew on her long fine robe, securing it around her waist as she watched him dress.

When he was done, he opened his arms in invitation, and she quickly stepped into his embrace.

"Will you dine with me today?" he asked.

"Every meal that I am able," she responded.

"Good. I'll hold you to it," he replied, kissing her forehead. Then he turned her loose, pivoted and exited her chambers.

She moved to the doorway and watched him. Just before he passed through the doors to the hallway, he made her a small bow. "Until later, my love," he said softly.

Then he was gone, the doors closed firmly between them.

She returned to her chamber, sat on the bed and sighed. Her body was exhausted, but her mind soared with the first joy she'd felt in a very long time.

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4: He Stoops to Conquer

**The Pursuit of Excellence**

By: Alabaster Crow

The Inquisitor and her Military Adviser are barely more than strangers, yet the undeniable attraction that began at first sight has resulted in them prematurely developing a deeper relationship. Can they make it work when Thedas itself is crumbling around them?

**Chapter 4: He Stoops to Conquer**

When Cullen entered his tower room he found water running through the ruined ceiling in rivulets. The canvas canopy he'd erected to protect his bedding was fortunately doing its job, but he knew everything would be damp and unusable until he could dry things up a bit.

Towards that end he quickly built and lit a roaring fire in the hearth, then pulled a chair close and all but fell into it, both emotionally and physically exhausted.

He was experiencing a strange mix of elation and trepidation. Maker; he'd finally rid himself of two decades of sexual frustration, and the mere memory of what he and Tahlya had done together had him aroused once more.

On the other hand; he'd fallen hopelessly in love with her, but although he'd had the women he loved... had he actually won her?

When she'd asked him to stay, he'd known the risk his heart was taking; he truly feared the possibility of sharing so intimate a thing, only to later have his love walk away. In the end, his own desire as well as her plea had decided him. And he was somewhat ashamed to admit that he'd also considered the possibility that it could bind her more closely to him.

Still, perhaps he was agonizing over nothing; as he'd said, their lives might be over soon enough. How much better to spend this time with her?

And oh, how he'd enjoyed being with her! It wasn't just the physical intimacy; he'd enjoyed virtually every moment they'd shared with each other since the day they'd met.

As for their... tryst; Maker help him but he could not wait to do that again! Oh, but how she had said his name... The noises she'd made... the way she looked and felt when she'd reached her end!

He groaned and rubbed his face with his hand. He needed to stop thinking about it or he wouldn't sleep at all.

Sighing, he resumed his prior train of thought; it did not sit well with him that Tahlya was hesitant to acknowledge their relationship to the rest of their company and he intended to push for acknowledgement as soon as possible. He did not think he was the jealous type, but he had no intention of allowing others to believe her still available.

There was nothing else for it; he needed to develop a plan for winning her...

Things he knew he had going for him: Tahlya was certainly attracted to him. She cared for him. Somehow, despite his inexperience, he'd managed to leave her so sated she could barely leave the bed. That was certainly another mark in his favor.

Cullen immediately kicked himself mentally. He had rarely taken pride in his accomplishments, however it seemed that whenever he had, he was quickly brought down by some countering circumstance. The saying that pride goes before the fall had thus always seemed to hold true, to the point that it seemed to him that the Maker himself was taking a personal interest in tamping down his pride.

Shaking himself mentally, he returned to his previous train of thought; mentally listing things that were not to his advantage with regards to his new relationship. He grimaced. The one thing he should not have done was to have confessed the depth of his feelings to Tahlya so soon. In doing so he'd put too much pressure on her and made himself too available.

Therefore, it stood to reason that he needed her to come to him; to risk something for his company...

He groaned and shifted in his chair, then rubbed his neck as a plan took hold in his mind. Every romantic book he'd ever read; every successful courtship he'd ever seen, had involved both parties attempting to win the other's favor. He needed to get Tahlya to seek him out; to try to attract his attention and win his favor.

To that end he would need to make himself a little less available than he had this past night. As much as it frustrated him to think on it, he knew he would have to avoid bedding her again; at least until she expended some great effort in luring him to her. He'd waited this long so surely he could hold himself back for a time, could he not?

He'd also told Tahlya that he intended to woo her. He just had to find the right balance between pursuit and retreat...

This could well prove to be his greatest challenge.

He suddenly found himself yawning. The sun was starting to light the sky and his bedding was now warm and dry enough. He stood and stretched his stiff legs, then removed his boots and flopped down on his bed, still fully dressed. Lacing his hands behind his head, and feeling much more relaxed after deciding his course of action, he closed his eyes and hoped to catch at least a few hours sleep.

For the first time in far too many years he fell asleep instantly and slept soundly.

Tahlya awoke after a few hours, feeling rested and ready to face her day. She was in a fantastic mood; the best since well before the tragedy at the Chantry Conclave. Washing quickly in the chilly morning air, she dressed in her usual leathers with the lighter armor overlay she wore around the keep, and thought about perhaps paying Cullen a quick visit.

She wondered if he'd slept well and whether he was already up and about. She knew him to be something of a wraith around the keep; seen wandering about at almost every hour of the day or night. She could only hope that this time she'd given him cause to actually stay abed…

With a smile and the thought of how he might look first thing in the morning, she threw caution to the wind and left her quarter's intent on visiting her lion in his lair…

Not ten minutes later, she stood in the center of his tower room, staring around her in dismay. She'd arrived to find the fire still smoldering in the fireplace and the bed made to military perfection, its owner apparently long since having quit the room. As for the room itself:

"Maker…" she breathed, still trying to take it in. There was, for all intent and purpose, no roof. The ceiling had collapsed long ago, leaving naught but a few rotted beams aloft. Ivy and other less pleasant vines had forced their way inside and covered the walls. There was even a small tree balanced precariously on the ruined ceiling beams! A salvaged tent had been used to construct a canopy over the bed; obviously the only thing keeping it dry.

She'd had no idea that his room was in such a sorry state and found herself concerned that he'd never said a thing about it. She would need to question the rest of her people to make certain they were not dealing with such poor conditions.

Her own rooms had required repair, as did much of Skyhold, but she'd been led to believe that repairs would be made based upon need…

"To think I all but threw him out of my nice warm, dry bed this morning and unwittingly sent him back to this!" she groaned aloud.

Turning, she left quickly, slamming the door behind her. She was no longer in a good mood. Maybe she would be able to catch her paramour at breakfast and discuss the situation with him and her other advisors…

At approximately seven in the morning the Inquisition guard gathered in the training corner of the fort's courtyard, just as they did six days of every week. The area was demarcated by a split rail fence and often time used for sword practice.

They trained hard and sparred harder under the guidance of their Captain, and as on every other morning, Ser Cullen arrived to watch them.

But this time something was very different, for the Inquisitor's advisor had arrived dressed in his full armor set. He wore his heavy skirts, which were patterned loosely after the Templar version and designed to protect his groin and legs. His lion helm was tucked under his arm and at his hip hung his heavy sword.

A hush fell over the courtyard as the men registered his attire.

"Captain Farna," he greeted.

"General," Farna nodded back. "Is this the day you make good on your promise to us?"

Cullen looked the men over. "It is. Who is your best?"

Farna frowned and glared at his men. "That would unfortunately still be myself. Not one of this lot has come close to defeating me."

Cullen bowed to him. "Very well then, would you do me the honor?"

"It would be my honor, Ser! I relish the chance to teach these slugs a thing or two!" he replied, fixing his men with a stern look. "I expect you all to pay close attention for you will be drilled on what you learn!"

The men roared their approval and cleared the area as calls went up for the healers.

The two men hid their smiles and then clasped each other's shoulder, sharing a moment of comradary before seeing to their swords.

Tahlya was breaking her fast in the dining room with several of her companions and wondering why Cullen was not amongst them, when a soldier arrived asking after a few healers. At her questioning look, he explained, "The General is about to spar with the Captain! We need the healers as a precautionary measure."

Hearing this, Vivienne quickly rose from her chair, showing a level of interest quite uncharacteristic of her. "I will handle it," she answered with a bow and then followed the fellow out.

Bull and Sera exchanged a look before jumping up and flying from the room, with Bull's mercenaries hot on their heels.

Cassandra met her startled gaze. "Ser Cullen has been asked repeatedly by the men for a demonstration of his fighting abilities. He in turn promised to fight their best man once it had been determined. This must be the day," the Seeker explained.

That was it; Tahlya jumped up and headed for the door at a jog as Cassandra fell in behind her.

By the time they arrived at the training area a huge crowd had formed and surrounded the contestants, who stood together at the center. Their swords were already bound; the edges covered by a blunt notched strip of metal and held in place with a winding of leather. Fighting with bound weapons usually avoided lethal blows, but bones were often broken or heads knocked hard; hence the need to have healers present.

Tahlya felt her stomach knot up with both admiration and excitement when she again set eyes on her new lover. He made such a remarkable figure decked out in his complete Coeur de Lion armor. She'd never actually seen him fight, however, and her anticipation was running high after hearing Cassandra's tales of his ability.

Around her she could hear bets being placed. Bull and Sera were at the center of it and arguing loudly.

"I'll take my chances with the Advisor!" the blond elf yelled. Walking up behind her, Blackwell agreed that he was as well.

Bull frowned fiercely, "I've never seen a Templar who was more than just adequate with a sword! Don't be foolish; if we throw our money in together we can make a decent profit."

"Are you daft?" Sera shouted at him. "Templars are the fade spawn when it comes to their fighting abilities, especially with swords!"

Blackwell laughed aloud. "Don't be dense, Bull," he advised. "Besides; I have a feeling about him, and they say he vanquished many of the Arishok's men in Kirkwall. The Arishok's men, no less!" he stressed.

"Also, he's too quiet... So I say he feels he has nothing to prove," Sera added.

They went on arguing as other bets were placed around them and Cassandra needed to lean in close to Tahlya in order to be heard.

"Place your money on your Advisor," she all but yelled. "There is good reason he holds the position he does!"

Just then Cullen spotted her and jumped the fence in order to make his way over. Going down on one knee in the wet muck as he came to a stop in front of her, he bowed his head and spoke loudly even as the crowd quieted to hear him, "I dedicate this match to you, my lady, and humbly seek your favor."

She was unable to keep a smile off her face as she placed her hand atop his shoulders and spoke for all to hear, "Rise Ser Cullen and prove yourself as my favored champion."

The crowd erupted in loud cheers as Cullen rose and fixed her with an affectionate look. Quickly, he snatched her hand and kissed it before donning his helm and turning to stalk back towards his opponent.

The Captain donned his helm as well and both men made ready. A lieutenant serving as referee shouted at the top of his lungs, "Have at it!" and the fight was on.

Both men circled each other warily, attempting to size their opponent up and determine whether or not to strike first. Cullen made the first test, feinting at Farna's thigh, but then following with an unexpected backswing.

The Captain stayed out of range of the jab and blocked, then countered Cullen's forward follow-up with another block. His answering jab had the general barely spinning out of range in time.

Again the two began to circle, this time their expressions more severe.

Cullen allowed Farna to lead and countered his every move, while testing his openings. Little by little, he began to put pressure on the Captain, who was soon sweating and too busy defending to effectively fight back.

Watching the match, Tahlya knew the Captain was far outmatched, and even though Cullen let the pressure up and allowed Farna to again bring the fight to him, he answered every gambit far too easily.

Tahra knew quickly enough that he was drawing out the match in order to leave the Captain and his men some dignity, and she could also tell by the angry scowl on Bull's face that he knew this as well, and had, no doubt, a great deal of money riding on the outcome.

Apparently realizing that the spectators would soon catch on, Cullen ended the fight; feinting a swing from the right, he instantly spun and reversed from the left, landing a blow to the Captain's ribs that would in any other circumstance have been instantly fatal.

With a groan of pain Farna went down clutching at his caved armor and the broken ribs beneath. At the same moment the lieutenant ran forwards and loudly proclaimed the Military Advisor the victor.

Tahlya screamed out her approval along with the rest of the crowd, however, her elation was short lived; as she saw Bull, an angry look upon his face, vault himself into the combat area.

"Bull," Sera hissed, as she followed, "What do you think you're doing, you stupid tit?"

Blackwell also shouted demands for the Qunari to leave the combat area.

Bull ignored them and addressed Cullen, and his words were pitched low, but Tahlya had caught up and heard him clearly.

"We both know the Captain was no match for you," Bull seethed. "Prove your true abilities and fight me!"

Cullen removed his helm and fixed the huge mercenary with a look of both surprise and affront. "You cannot seriously suggest that we turn this into a grudge match? You'd do well to pay your debts and see to your daily assignments rather than pursuing this course."

Tahlya backed him up," Bull, if you wish to spare with Cullen, then surely another day when he has not already fought..."

"No." Bull cut her off. "I say now. I've heard the tales of his defeat of the Qunari at Kirkwall; let us all see if they are true or merely stories."

"Oh they are true all right," Varric threw back, as he stepped through the fence and approached. "Come on, Bull; leave the nice General alone."

Bull snorted and turned back to face Cullen. "Face me, or must I enlighten this crowd by informing them that you were toying with the Captain? Surely that would not be good for moral... and anger those who thought they were placing fair bets," he threatened.

Cullen shot her a quick look and she nodded her assent.

"Very well," he replied. "What are your terms?"

"Bound weapons. Anything goes, and bragging rights to the winner."

"As you wish," the ex-Templar replied.

"Clear the area!" The Captain, still red-faced from Bull's assessment of his fighting abilities, but mobile, thanks to Vivienne's ministrations, took up the mantle of referee.

Moving close to Cullen, Tahlya allowed some of her worry to show. "Are you certain of this?" she asked.

He shot her a wicked grin. "I'm actually looking forward to teaching our prideful associate a lesson in humility."

She nodded and cautioned him, "Don't let him charge you..." With an answering nod, Cullen turned away and checked the binding on his sword as Bull began binding his ax.

Tahlya she did her best to appear unconcerned as she vaulted back over the fence to take up her place and watch.

As the new match was announced, a new round of fierce betting began in the crowd, which had quickly grown in size. Looking up, Tahlya saw people watching from every doorway and window onto the courtyard, even those in her suite.

Beside her, Sera was grumbling obscenities under her breath, while both Varric and Vivienne fixed their inquisitor with reassuring looks. Cassandra leaned on the fence and concentrated solely on the combatants.

Leliana suddenly pushed her way through the crowd and moved to stand beside her. "I see I've arrived just in time," she whispered, leaning in close. "It is past time that our members learn some respect for their general." When she turned a questioning look on her, Leliana smiled. "And it is also time that the mercenaries learn some humility, do you not agree?"

Tahlya nodded. "So I've heard," she answered wryly

Solas also made an appearance and lifted an arched brow at Vivienne. "Do you suppose that our ex-Templar took his lyrium recently?"

Vivienne frowned deeply. "I would almost guarantee that he has. Perhaps we'd best move off a ways."

"That was my intent," the elven mage replied, as together, they turned and made a quick retreat.

When Tahlya turned a questioning look towards Leliana, she found her friend was silently laughing at her.

"Are you expecting a Templar trick, Lel?" she asked, amused.

The redhead shook her head while attempting to restrain her smile "We shall see," she replied cryptically.

When she turned back to the combatants, she noted with a surge of gratitude and relief, that Captain Farna had separated them, putting each as far from the other as possible. This, she knew, would be crucial to Cullen's success, for Bull's charge could close the distance between them and mete out a crushing body slam in mere seconds.

Farna moved out of the way and held is arm up, while asking each man if they were ready, then he dropped it and yelled, "Have at it!"

Bull instantly crouched and began a charge, but before Tahlya's stomach had a chance to somersault, she sensed that something was amiss; a preternatural feeling that she could not explain and which gripped her tightly. Time almost seemed to slow as a strange energy made the hair on her arms stand on end.

She could see that Cullen had planted his feet as though setting himself against Bull's oncoming rush, however the Qunari mercenary had barely taken a single step when the entire area lit up like the sun…

The crowd screamed and cowered as a blazing column of even brighter light shot down from the heavens and hit Bull dead on. He flew straight up in the air a good twenty feet as those closest to the fence, Tahlya included, were knocked back by some unseen force; most unable to retain their footing. Then there came a deafening sound not unlike the clap of thunder, but so close, and so loud that those who had not yet fallen did so.

Her ears ringing, and her eyes stinging from the blast, she came to her feet to see Cullen now standing over Bull, his sword at the mercenary's throat.

"Do you yield?" he bellowed, loud enough for her to hear despite the ringing in her ears.

Bull only groaned, unable to apparently do more than lift his head and nod briefly.

That was when she realized she had just witnessed the most powerful Smite she'd ever seen.

"Maker…." Leliana gasped, coming to her feet beside her. "That was…"

"Incredible?" It was Cassandra, who out of all of them seemed unsurprised. "It is will that drives a Templar's powers. You should therefore not be surprised that a man such as Cullen, with a will capable of thwarting even the worse of demons, should wield a power such as this."

The good Captain, who had by then recovered his feet, and his composure, called the match and the crowd finally came back to life. Loud cheers of "Andraste bless the General!" rang out, and Tahlya saw Cullen nodding and lifting his sword aloft in acknowledgement.

"But, we are not even mages," Tahlya commented to the Seeker, continuing their conversation.

"Just imagine if you were," Cassandra threw back, even as Solas and Vivienne rejoined them.

Solas was shaking his head in disbelief. "We were by the front gate and he still very nearly got us," he announced, wide-eyed. "I certainly felt it. Remind me to give that one a wide berth when he is in a fighting mood…"

Vivienne merely nodded, holding her own counsel, a perturbed expression on her face.

Shaking herself mentally, Tahlya turned again to see Bull rising unsteadily to his feet as Sera gave him a good dressing down. Cullen was unbinding his sword, but had his eyes fixed on her.

Vaulting the fence, she moved quickly, closing the distance between them, and she stopped only momentarily, when she was an arm's reach away.

"Inquisitor," he began, but then was unable to get another word out as she threw herself on him, grasping his hair and pulling his head down so she could ravish his mouth

Tahlya was so swept away that she barely heard his sword hitting the ground or the cheers that sprung up in the crowd behind them. All she knew was that Cullen's arms had come up to embrace her and he was enthusiastically kissing her back.

Releasing his hair, she stepped back and met his surprised, but pleased expression. "That will teach you to avoid me in favor of smiting my mercenary," she quipped, trying hard to look stern.

His eyes lit up, a heartfelt smile lighting his blushing face. "Is that some sort of euphemism, or are you being literal?" he responded.

Taking a glance around her, she could see everyone watching them and already gossiping.

"Congratulations; you've forced my hand when it comes to keeping our relationship secret," she informed him. "You've backed me into a corner."

Cullen moved in closer, curiosity drawing him in. "How so?" he asked, studying her carefully.

"After that little show of yours I imagine that every eligible young lady in the keep will be thinking about waylaying you, Ser knight," she whispered. "I'm just ensuring that they know you are not available."

He reached out and pulled her back to him. "Then you won't mind me reinforcing that, will you?" he whispered, leaning in to kiss her soundly as cheers again rang out around them.

When they finally broke apart, the Captain was shooing everyone off, "Go on! Go on! Back to your duties!" he cried, "There's nothing whatsoever of interest going on here!" As he began to move off towards his men, he threw back over his shoulder, "Congratulations to you, General; Inquisitor."

Cullen recovered his sword and finished unbinding it as the two of them walked back towards the bench he'd left his helmet on. Behind them they could hear Sera collecting on yet another bet she'd apparently had with Bull and they both chuckled when they realized it had been about them getting together.

Sheathing his sword and tucking his helm under his arm, Cullen offered his other arm to her, and she took it as he steered them back towards the nearest keep entrance. "I find myself very glad that Bull challenged me" he informed her. "Had I known what your reaction would be, I'd have goaded him into it on day one."

She laughed. "What can I say; I'm a fool for raw power, and an iron will; both hidden under a thick layer of propriety." Seeing him blush, she continued shamelessly, "Makes me want to peel you like an onion…"

They'd just entered the keep, and he surprised her by pushing her into one of the stone corridor walls, trapping her there with the press of his body. "I am yours," he breathed harshly, as he nibbled her ear. "And that pleases me no end. What will you have of me? Shall I walk you to your chambers?"

Tahlya shuddered in delight, but also knew she could not put off her duties. "Cullen," she whispered. "There are things I must see to, but my chambetr doors are always open to you."

He composed himself, but when he spoke, his voice was still husky. "Hmmm… then I shall see you later," he promised."

Just then Bull pushed past, intentionally jostling them. "Get a room, you two!" he snorted. "Damn Templar; bad enough you used a trick to beat me; did you have to go and lose me yet another bet at the same time?"

As the mercenary disappeared around the corner, they both found themselves stifling their laughter. "Don't be a stranger today," she husked out, teasingly giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

As she pushed him gently and moved off the wall in order to head off, Cullen caught her by her upper arm and pulled her back for one last deep kiss.

"Go on then," he whispered afterwards, giving her a playful swat on the arse.

With a delighted grin, she did just that, turning to look at him one last time before turning the corner.

Cullen stood in the corridor watching her go, as he reflected on what a wonderful morning it had thus been. He was therefore startled to hear someone clear their throat behind him.

"General."

He turned to find Blackwell silhouetted in front of the arched doorway.

The large Gray Warden nodded and made a small bow. "Ah, General; I'm glad to have run into you. A contingent of Fereldan Wardens has just arrived and they're on an urgent mission. Please allow me to present Amrine Amell; Commander of the Gray."

Cullen's heart stuttered violently as a small, lithe woman stepped out of the larger Warden's shadow.

"General," she addressed him. "An urgent matter brings me here. Please, I must speak with the Inquisitor as soon as possible."

She may not have recognized him, but although the backlighting kept her features in shadow, Cullen would know her anywhere. As he'd feared, his pride over the morning's events had been met with a comeuppance from the maker...

To be continued.


	5. Chapter 5: The Unexpected

**The Pursuit of Excellence**

By: Alabaster Crow

**Chapter 5: The Unexpected**

Cullen stood in the corridor watching her go, as he reflected on what a wonderful morning it had thus been. He was therefore startled to hear someone clear their throat behind him.

"Commander?"

He turned to find Blackwall silhouetted in front of the arched doorway.

The large Gray Warden nodded and made a small bow. "Ah, Commander; I'm glad to have run into you. A contingent of Fereldan Wardens has just arrived. Please allow me to present the Commander of the Gray; Marine Amell."

Cullen's heart stuttered violently as a small, lythe woman stepped out of the larger Warden's shadow.

"Commander," she addressed him. "I am here due to an urgent matter. Please, I must speak with the Inquisitor as soon as possible."

She may not have recognized him, but although the backlighting kept her features in shadow, Cullen would know her anywhere. As he'd feared, his pride over the morning's events had been met with a comeuppance from the maker...

Affecting a composure he did not truly possess, he bowed and addressed her. "Commander Amell; it has been far too many years," he said, stepping close enough to see her features and make himself clear to her. "I will escort you to Lady Trevelyan."

"Cullen? By the Maker; it is you, isn't it?" she exclaimed, looking him up and down. "It is wonderful to see you looking well!"

"You never mentioned knowing The Hero of Fereldan," Blackwall interjected. "I must admit to being impressed."

"Thank you, Serah. Please would you ask the Inquisitor to meet us in the war room?"

"Of course, Commander. Commander." With a small bow to each of them, Blackwall headed up the corridor.

Once they were alone, Cullen was surprised at his lack of nervousness. Moving another step closer, he met Amrine's gaze and smiled fondly down at her. "Well met. It is good to see you as well. Please, before I take you to the Inquisitor, allow me to address a grievous oversight on my part."

"Cullen, there is nothing..."

He held up a hand, forestalling her. "Please, Amrine, let me finish." At her nod, he continued, "Thank you for saving me. Thank you for saving my life and the lives of all those in the Harrowing Chamber that day."

Taking her hand, he bent over it and rested his forehead to the back of it. "When last we met, I was full of hate, fear and self-loathing. I was not myself, but thanks to you, I've had the opportunity to make myself a better man than ever I was before."

Stepping back, he continued to hold her hand as he kissed her knuckles. "It has been an honor knowing you, my lady."

Her eyes, when he lifted his head, were huge. A tear rolled slowly down her cheek. "Oh Cullen, I am so very glad. I knew that the good man I'd come to care for was still in there, even when you were at your most disagreeable. Please believe me when I say I would brave those demons again, and more, in order to rescue you. You were the only person in that place that made living there bearable."

Suddenly feeling melancholy, he nodded. "I… have missed you. I hope that you are well, and as happy as circumstance will allow. Perhaps later we may have a chance to talk at greater length?"

She nodded. "I am well and happy, and I would like nothing better than to be able to catch up with you."

He smiled once more, as he returned her hand to her. "Good, and now please let me escort you to Lady Trevelyan. We should not keep her waiting."

Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, Amrine Amell, the Hero of Fereldan, smiled and followed her one time crush through the unfamiliar corridors.

* * *

><p>The walk to the War room was a silent one, with Amrine following in his wake and taking in her surroundings with interest.<p>

Cullen found himself reflecting on the very different roads that had led them both here, and how, back at the circle tower, neither of them could possibly have imagined that their lives would turn out this way.

Leliana was waiting for them in the war room, and upon seeing her, Amrine ran into her waiting embrace.

"It is so wonderful to see you again, Leliana!" she exclaimed as they hugged tightly.

"And you as well," Leliana replied. "I only wish it could be under better circumstances. I am right in assuming that there is a disaster in the making, am I not?"

They'd each drawn back enough to look each other in the eye, but their hands remained clasped together between them.

Amell's lips twisted in a smirk. "I could never hide anything from you," she admitted. "We'd best wait for the others to join us before I elaborate further on the situation."

"Certainly. So tell me; how is Alistair these days? Still a walking fortress, or has his love of cheese finally caught up with him?"

Amrine laughed. "Oh he's as formidable as ever," she finally replied. "He was never able to let his training fall by the wayside. If anything, he's scarier than ever in a fight. By the by; there is a chance you may be seeing him soon as he is currently leading the rest of my troops in Orzammar."

Cullen jolted upon hearing that. "What? The King is in Orzammar; with rifts and Darkspawn menacing the Frostbacks and Dales? Surely it is too dangerous to risk our monarch's presence?"

"Believe me, Cullen; it is no way around it. Contrary to what anyone might think, he considers himself first and foremost a Gary Warden," Amrine groaned.

"Besides," Leliana added, "The Darkspawn fear him enough that they try to avoid him on the battlefield. He used to have to resort to taunting them in order to get them to engage him!"

He stared them in disbelief as Leliana burst out laughing.

"That is the truth!" Amrine laughed. "I swear to you Cullen; that is what he does!"

It was then that Tahlya made her entrance, flanked by the rest of their group, and the two old friends fell instantly quiet.

"Is Josephine not back yet?" she asked, looking around the room.

"No, your grace," Cassandra answered. "She sent word that she's been delayed. We expect her to arrive sometime tomorrow."

"Very well. Cassandra, I'll leave it to you to fill her in when she arrives."

"As you command," the Seeker answered.

Tahlya nodded and then approached the Warden Commander, holding out her hand in greeting. It was instantly taken and the two of them shook. "Commander Amell, it is an honor to have you at Skyhold. I am aware that you are here on urgent business, but first, please allow me to make the introductions."

She went around the room, introducing each of her companions and advisors in turn, and then motioned the Warden closer to the map table, moving to stand beside her, as the rest of the attendees circled it. "Please, tell us what we may do for you."

Amell looked around her and met each member's gaze in turn. "Thank you Inquisitor. Thank you all for hearing me out. I am here to request your aid in a matter of extreme importance."

"A week ago, King Alistair received word of a very troubling nature from King Bhelen in Orzammar. There has been a sudden resurgence of Darkspawn activity in the deep roads, and he reported that the number of Darkspawn pushing back towards the city is alarming. But, far worse, was his report that this menace is being accompanied by demons and other foul creatures the like of which the dwarves have never before seen."

There was a great deal of murmuring around the table, interjected with exclamations of disbelief.

Amell held up a hand, quieting them before continuing. "The Legion of the Dead had briefly managed to push into the Dead Trenches, where they discovered what seems to be, by their description, a large fade rift. There is also a newly discovered tunnel, which had apparently been disguised as a cave in for many years. It is large enough to move armies through, and it appears to move away from Orzammar along the line of the Frostbacks."

Leaning over the map, she used a finger to trace the approximate route so that everyone could see.

"Yes," she agreed, upon hearing Cassandra curse under her breath. "It leads in the direction of Haven and also towards Skyhaven. We have no idea how long it may actually be, however I did encounter what seemed to be the first wave of Darkspawn, and they were within miles of the Haven ruins."

She jabbed her finger at a specific point on the map, and Cullen quickly added a pin to mark it. He watched Tahlya, noting her grim expression as she traced the tunnel path on the map and frowned.

"What action has been taken?" she asked.

Amell gave her a serious look. "The King mobilized the Gray Wardens in Fereldan under my command and also requested the aid of the Wardens at Weisshaupt and in Orlais. There has been no word from Weisshaupt as of yet, however Orlais has sent a large contingent of Wardens to meet King Alistair in Orzammar. At this time he is readying our troops to begin an attack on the advancing horde with the goal of cutting them off from the city. He asks that you aid me in an attack which will drive the hordes back through their tunnels towards the rift. Our hope is to crush them between us, and push the remaining horde back to the breach, where you can trap or destroy them when you close it."

The Inquisitor looked puzzled. "We know where the abominations are coming from, but where are the Darkspawn coming from? And why?"

Amrine shrugged. "Darkspawn are known to be roused by disturbances… I feel comfortable in concluding that this rift has stirred them up and drawn them from the lower depths."

"This is no small task," Tahlya sighed. "I fear how many men may be lost in this endeavor, yet I see no other way around it."

"We understand the risk as well, Inquisitor, and we would not risk you or your organization, were it not for the rift. That is something only you can handle." Amell placed a closed fist over her chest and bowed. "I can only say that fighting Darkspawn, even in tunnels such as these, is what Gray Wardens do. We excel at it. We have unique abilities that allow us to endure, and we shall pave the way for your forces."

"Hold a moment." Cullen suddenly spoke up, moving closer to Tahlya. "Am I not correct in my understanding that anyone but a Gray Warden, if exposed to Darkspawn blood, will die?"

It was Blackwall who answered, with a touch of funereal humor, "This is not entirely true; sometimes they turn into Darkspawn themselves."

An uncomfortable silence filled the room as they all took turns looking at each other. Finally, the Warden Commander spoke up. "We, the Wardens, will of course meet the brunt of the force head on. The rest of you need not engage the Darkspawn, only the abominations."

"I don't like this," Cullen grumbled. "In such tunnels it would be easy to lose control of the battle, but what other options have we? I agree that it seems we have little choice but to back the Wardens up; either that or allow the hoard to advance and the rift to grow."

Tahlya nodded. "My biggest concern is the rift. I can barely believe that it opened in the deep roads. Everything points to it being opened at precisely that location, and that is truly frightening! We may not be dealing with a random sequence of events, but with an unknown enemy; one who controls where these tears in the veil occur."

Solas bowed his head. "I agree that it seems likely that is so," he added. "I had begun to wonder it before now, but this seems to clench it."

Tahlya turned to face Amrine. "Commander, if you and the rest of my companions will excuse us, I need to meet with my advisors. We will of course join the fight."

Again the Commander saluted her by thumping her fist against her chest plate. "I thank you on behalf of Kings Alistair and Bhelen," she exclaimed. Then she turned and left the room as the others followed her out.

When the doors had been closed, Tahlya addressed Cullen. "Any ideas on how we might minimize our risk?"

"Very few," he answered. "And I doubt they will do much good. You cannot take the horses and carts into the tunnels, so a small contingent of men will need to remain with them when you begin your decent. After that, people will need to be designated to carry your supplies. I will need to meet with Commander Amell and learn the Wardens' strategies for traveling in such places. How do they even light their way? Once I have a better idea of their tactics I may be able to make further suggestions."

"Thank you, Commander," she replied. "Please go do that now. Leliana, and Josephine, please remain."

With a bow, Cullen turned and left the chamber.

* * *

><p>After going through a list of items she needed her remaining advisors to take care of, Tahlya dismissed them, but Leliana gently captured her arm and held her back as she made to leave the room.<p>

"What is it?" she asked, too distracted to appear patient.

"So; you and Cullen?" Leliana asked, carefully scrutinizing her face as she often did when trying to "read between the lines".

Tahlya sighed. "Yes. Why do you ask?"

"Do you love him?"

Closing the door, she rounded on her advisor. "Why are you asking me this now, of all times, Leliana? What is it to you?"

Her red-haired friend fidgeted uncharacteristically. "I know it is not an ideal time for this conversation, but I daresay we may not have the opportunity for a while. Do not get me wrong; I like the Commander well enough, and he is a man of great integrity…"

"But?"

"I have heard a troubling… whisper concerning his past," Leliana confessed guardedly.

Tahlya gritted her teeth. She was in no mood for playing games. "A whisper?" she huffed. "What is it that you aren't telling me?"

"You know I am speaking to you as a friend," her spymaster replied. "Do you love him or not?"

"I love him," she admitted, surprising herself in the process. "Now what have you heard? Spit it out!"

"I cannot tell you outright. I have two friends who would flay me alive if I did so, and it is also a matter of national interest and could prove very dangerous if my information were to become public knowledge."

"National interest?" She stared her friend down as wheels began turning in her head. "The information must have come from the Warden Commander…and the other friend mentioned must be King Alistair; your old traveling companion, and the Warden's lover," she said in a tight, clipped voice, before demanding, "Now, tell me; what is it about Cullen's past that could be a matter of such secrecy?"

"If you did not love him, then it would not matter," Leliana replied. "However, you do love him, so you should know right now that should you ever marry him, your life will change very dramatically; perhaps not for the best. As your friend I wanted to protect you by letting you know this now, before you get even more attached to your ex-Templar. Surely, you can understand this?"

"How would his past affect my life negatively should I marry him?" She asked, feeling both perturbed at the conversation and at the same time strangely excited by the mere idea of marrying Cullen. "I know he is most likely of noble birth, so I do not see what the problem could possibly be."

Then she saw Leliana's carefully neutral expression change ever so slightly…

"Wait; Cullen does not know anything about his origins, but now you are telling me that the King does…" She almost fainted as it all came together. "By the Maker; he must be from a very highly regarded noble family if the King knows his background and has involved himself!"

Moving to a chair she dropped into it and tried to compose herself.

"Cullen doesn't know, Tahlya," Leliana confessed. "You must not say anything; that is for the King to do, and it is his intention to do so when this business with the rift and the Darkspawn is finished."

Something dawned on her then. "Why do you think that this would change my life radically? How could it be for the worse, if he is from a high ranking family?"

Leliana looked at the floor and hesitated, which made Tahlya suspicious that her next words might be a lie.

"Your estate would of course go to his family; the family that deserted him. This cannot be a good thing, no?"

Tahlya rubbed her face. It did make sense. "You are right, of course. I had almost forgotten I am the last…" Shaking her head, she rose to her feet. "But this is neither here nor there; we have a battle to fight. Afterwards, if I survive this entire rift business, it may become something to worry about."

"I just thought it best that you know."

She took her adviser's hand and squeezed it. "Thank you, my friend; I should not have doubted your motives."

Together they left the room, and Tahlya did her best to forget the matter entirely, at least for now.

* * *

><p>Later that day, Cullen was pleasantly surprised at encountering Tahlya in the courtyard as they each were making haste towards different areas of Skyhold. He was not, however, pleased at the public setting, nor at the number of people who watched them furtively as they moved towards each other. Regardless, upon seeing her grim expression of determination melt at the sight of him, he promptly dismissed all thoughts of propriety.<p>

Reaching out, he grasped her elbow and pulled her to him so that he could plant a firm, but quick kiss upon her mouth.

"How are you holding up?" he asked quietly, trying to keep their conversation private.

"I feel as though there isn't enough time in the day, otherwise I am fine," she replied. "Yourself?"

"Much better now," he said, giving her a small smile. "I've met with the Commander and I am satisfied with her preparations and methods for moving through the tunnels."

"That is good to know, at least," she sighed. "Have you anything else to report?"

Lifting his head, he turned to glare at those who had stopped to watch them, and then, satisfied when the onlookers scurried back about their business, he turned his attention back to her.

"I can give you my final report later, unless something unexpected turns up, in which case you will hear from me in a timely manner." He leaned closer to her and lowered his voice again. "When will I see you?"

She smiled and blushed prettily. "I intend to take my final reports in my office, as I've much paperwork to catch up on prior to leaving. You can meet me there, or in my chambers, if I have already retired."

He smiled ruefully. "Maker, but I've the desire to kiss you senseless right now," he admitted. Pulling her up against his chest, he briefly wrapped both arms around her as he planted a chaste kiss on her brow. Then he released her and reached out to tip her chin up so she had to meet his eyes. "Until later, then, my Lady," he whispered.

Turning on his heel, he strode quickly away before he changed his mind and made them fodder for the ravenous gossips.

* * *

><p>Amell sought him out that evening as he was finishing troop assignments and logistics out near the barracks. Given the circumstances, Cullen found that his heart was not much in the mood for revisiting their past at the moment; he was anxious to reunite with his new lover and spend the remaining time with her.<p>

"Good evening," Amrine greeted him, as the wind whipped her blue robes tightly around her.

He'd immediately noted that she'd changed out of her Warden armor in favor of her mage robes and he found her likeness to the girl she'd once been heartwarming. Despite his desire to retire, he could not help but be glad for the chance to settle his past.

"Good evening," he answered back, mustering a smile. "You know; people refer to you as the Hero of Fereldan, the Warden Commander and even as Dragon Slayer, but somehow, despite the years, when I look on you I still see the sweet little mage I once fancied."

Her eyes went wide. "So then, you no longer fancy me?"

It took him a panicked moment to realize that she was teasing him. He gave a depreciating shake of the head. "I was a Templar and you a mage; had we overstepped our boundaries it most likely would have ended very badly. But yes, back then I fancied you. As things stand now, we have both matured beyond such fanciful yearnings. You must instead make do with a man who will always have a soft spot in his heart for you." Here he cupped her cheek with his hand. "Is that so bad?" he murmured softly.

She covered his hand with her own and smiled. "No; it is quite wonderful to know that you are a friend. It is so much more than I could have hoped for considering our last meeting."

"I am glad," he replied.

Dropping his hand she stepped away and fidgeted, but then met his gaze and sighed. "Leliana told me about you and Lady Trevelyan," she finally admitted. "She is a very lucky woman."

He bowed slightly. "Thank you, and the King is a very lucky man. I only wish that your life together was easier."

"It is all right, Cullen. We came to terms with it years ago. Besides, great love is well worth the sacrifices necessary to hold on to it."

"It is as you say," he agreed.

Amrine looked around them and then gave him a sharp look, suddenly becoming the Warden Commander once more. "I promise not to keep you much longer, but I do need to discuss something of great importance with you."

"What is it that troubles you?" he asked, suddenly feeling anxious.

Amrine moved closer and lowered her voice so that no one else would be able to overhear her. "I cannot elaborate on this right now. You need to know that the King has been hoping for an opportunity to speak with you. It is unfortunate that these circumstances have put it off."

He now felt an uneasy sense of foreboding. "The King; what does he have to do with me?"

She clutched his forearm tightly. "Cullen…. If anything should happen to Alistair during this battle; should he and I both be killed, I need for you to promise me that you will present yourself at the Denerim Chantry immediately."

He froze for an instant; his mind was so befuddled by the request. "Are you serious?" he stuttered. "Why would you have me do such a thing upon the King's death?"

Amell glared at him and when she answered, her voice was steel, "This is a request that comes directly from the King, and it is for the King to clarify things for you." She gave his arm a small shake. "Let me give the King your word that you will do this."

"Very well; I will do as he asks," he finally answered with a resigned sigh.

Amrine nodded and released him. "One last thing; you may not speak of this to anyone, do you understand? Not even to your lady..."

He nodded, unable to speak.

"Maker willing, it will all be explained to you when this Rift business is concluded. I bid you good night then." With a nod, she turned and sauntered away.

He watched her until she disappeared into the main building, his stomach suddenly rolling as a terrible sense of future turmoil settled over him. Then he set off towards his chambers so that he might wash up and change before calling on Tahlya.

* * *

><p>After running about Skyhold the remainder of the day and making certain that those in charge of key elements in the upcoming excursion were following her orders to the letter, Tahlya found herself mentally exhausted. That had not stopped her from spending the next few hours at her desk, making certain all the journals were filled out correctly and that nothing had been overlooked.<p>

Cullen was the only person she had yet to hear back from, but she knew she could count on him to get things right, and besides; he would be reporting to her in a much more informal way than the others…

Feeling tired, and emotionally drained, she stretched and yawned. A glance at the windows showed it was rapidly darkening outside; somehow she'd completely missed sunset. Fortunately she'd already bathed and ordered a large tray of cold food for their dinner; for she knew the kitchen staff was overburdened getting their travelling rations together.

Rising, and still working the kinks out of her neck, she wandered to the window and moved the curtain aside. Leaning on the wall, she stared out at the last purple and pink light on the horizon and thought back on one of the most frustrating and anxiety-provoking days she had ever experienced.

Not having time to affirm the night before with her new lover had been difficult, but tempered by his triumph against the captain of the guard, and Bull. She was relieved that she'd thrown caution to the wind and let everyone know the true nature of their relationship, and his passionate manhandling in the entranceway corridor had made the risk well worth it.

Her fear that the rest of the group would not approve was put to rest as they all congratulated her on their new relationship. Only Dorian was a little put off, teasingly informing her that he was jealous of her success in landing the Commander and that she better not mess it up lest he be there to help the poor man "pick up all the pieces". To which she'd replied that she didn't think he had a chance in the Fade of succeeding. Dorian had sighed deeply and remarked that at least he would have the pleasure of making the ex-Templar blush prettily. They'd giggled together like schoolchildren after that.

She'd made time to visit the foreman in charge of re-constructing the fortress and mentioned the living conditions Cullen had been enduring. He'd assured her that he would have one of his teams immediately begin work on the tower.

It was then that Blackwall had accosted and informed her of Commander Amell's arrival.

Although she was confident of Cullen's love for her, it had still been shocking to hear that his one-time flame had shown up within hours of their joining, and she had to admit to some small amount of uneasiness where the Warden's presence was concerned. Still, perhaps it was for the best that they reconcile their past with the present and find some closure.

It was not until the meeting in the war room that her whole world was rocked. To discover so huge a threat was bad enough, but to discover that no less than two kings, the Gray Wardens, The Legion of the Dead, and an entire city was looking towards her and depending upon her to aid them in defeating an army of pure evil…

Well, it was a daunting responsibility, to say the least.

And the thought that anything might happen; that this might be all the time she ever had to spend with Cullen, was heartrending to her. She had so much she wanted to share with him, and so little time. Tahlya was not a pessimist; she was actually a pragmatist, and thus, she had to consider all possibilities. To that end she'd already met with the rest of her companions and advisors, drawing up plans for how the Inquisition would move forward should she not return.

Just then there was a knock on her door, and her heart rate skyrocketed at the thought of who it had to be. She nearly ran over, but at the last minute stopped and composed herself before pulling the door open.

And there he stood; dressed in fresh clothes, his hair still wet and tousled, and smelling faintly of soap. He was holding a large canvas equipment bag and looked just a little put-upon.

She eyed the bag and then raised an eyebrow at him.

Cullen cleared his throat. "I hope you don't mind me bringing my things with me. When I arrived at my chambers I found them pretty much demolished, and the foreman informed me I would need to stay in the barracks until the renovations to the tower are completed." He suddenly blushed and looked appalled. "Oh! I will be moving my things to the barracks tomorrow; I did not mean for you to think I was moving in!" he hastily explained.

She couldn't help but laugh at his discomfort. "Oh, Cullen; of course it is fine. And there is no reason to be so proper. After all, I am the one who insisted that your tower be re-built immediately. As things worked out, you might as well stay in my rooms while I am away."

He smiled at her then. "That is something I would be grateful for. And thank you for seeing to the tower." Leaning over, he gave her a quick peck on the lips before moving into the room and stowing his bag out of the way. Then he turned and opened his arms.

She all but bounded into them and was rewarded with a fierce hug and a drawn out kiss that left her weak in the knees. Afterwards, he continued to hold her to him and rubbed his clean-shaven cheek against her own.

"It has been an unspeakably long day," he sighed near her ear, "but thankfully the Maker has blessed us with a full night together before we must part. It is truly bittersweet then, to feel this precious time slipping by."

"I will be back, Cullen. I promise you that," she whispered fiercely.

He held onto her shoulders and gently moved her away enough so they could look at each other. "If only it was your will that decided that," he sighed. "But I have faith in you. I must; for if you fall, all will be lost."

She nodded, and then slowly backed away and turned towards the table, determined to put this sorrow behind them. "Enough of this; come let's eat."

He caught her arm and pulled her back against his chest. "Later. Right now I have other things on my mind."

Then his mouth was on hers, and she could feel the desperation in him as he ravished her lips, and then trailed light kisses and nibbles down her neck. She found herself lost in him; the feel of him. Time seemed to stand still, and she felt disoriented when he suddenly stopped and stood to bury his face between her neck and shoulder.

"Tahlya," he groaned. "Maker… Let's move into the other room before I lose all reason and take you on this table.

His words brought her around, and she couldn't help but smirk at the thought of such a proper man doing so improper a thing. After a few seconds, he pulled back to look at her and laughed when he saw her expression. "Maker, but you're going to be the death of me…" he huffed, raising an eyebrow and still laughing. "We are not going to do that to your table." Then composing himself, he caught her hand and led her through the double doors to her bed chamber.

Pulling her back into the circle of his arms, and smiling the entire time, he slowly walked her backwards until her legs met the edge of the bed, and then with a devilish smirk of his own, gave her a small push, so that she fell onto her back.

Before she could recover, he'd pulled off her boots, and then when she came up on her elbows, gently shoved her back down so he could remove his own boots. He was on her before she could complain. Straddling her, he leaned down to kiss her passionately.

Tahlya wrapped her arms around him, burying her fingers in his hair as he ignited a fire in her that took away all reason and left only a frighteningly overwhelming need to have all of him.

Cullen began working his way down the slope of her neck, as his fingers made quick work of the buttons on her chemise. Then he was sitting up and wrestling it off her, returning to ravishing her mouth with something that sounded suspiciously like a growl.

She felt that noise he made all the way down in her groin, and quickly reached out to undo the laces on his tunic.

He was having none of it; grasping her hands, he pinned them above her. "I must warn you," he husked near her ear, "I've an overwhelming amount of frustration tied to a lifetime of celibacy, which I mean to take out on you tonight. I find myself too desperate for you to take things slowly; so let me have my way… and I promise later you may have yours…"

She bit her lip to muffle an unbidden moan. "Maker, Cullen… I am going to turn the tables later... leave you too exhausted to gloat…"

"That's my girl;" he growled, "you just try to keep up with me." Releasing her hands so he could remove her breast band, he quickly began nibbling and sucking at her nipples as he moved a hand down to her breeches, and set about undoing the laces. Sitting up, he yanked the offending garment off her and quickly removed his tunic, tossing it atop her discarded clothing.

Leaning back down, he slid his way down her body, trailing his tongue over her stomach, hipbones and further still... Then he grasped her smalls by a side tie and ripped them clean off her, causing her to squeal in surprise.

He let out a low chuckle at her reaction then returned to working his way down her body.

She found herself gripping his hair tightly when she felt his hot breath on her cleft, and then she was arching off the bed in reflex as he experimentally ran his tongue over her. She hadn't the time to catch her breath when he suddenly looked up at her and while maintaining eye contact did it again.

"Cullen!" she gasped. "Oh please…"

He did it again. Then again. And then he really threw himself into it; alternating licking her and flicking his tongue against her most sensitive area. Quickly picking up on what she liked, he worked at her with great enthusiasm until she yelled out his name as she found her release.

Tahlya collapsed, panting and feeling as though her bones had turned to jelly. As she worked at catching her breath, she watched under heavy lids as Cullen hoisted himself up over her, and while balanced precariously on one arm, fumbled at the laces on his breeches, before impatiently pushing them down to his knees. There was a look of such desperate want on his face that an overwhelming desire again blossomed within her. Only then did she realize that he was murmuring something under his breath.

"And she came to me in a vision and laid her hand on my heart. Her touch was like fire that did not burn. And by her touch, I was made pure again," he murmured softly, as he leaned in to kiss her.

She felt him trembling as he pulled her left leg up around his hip, encouraging her to wrap herself around him as he bore down on her, brushing his body against hers. She needed no further urging and gladly clung to him, as in one swift motion he made contact and sheathed himself within her.

A visceral cry was drawn from her at his invasion, but she'd been more than ready for him, and it was not pain, but pure sensation that had her calling out.

Still, he froze momentarily. "Love?" he asked against her lips, still shaking with his own reaction, but making certain she was all right.

"Don't stop…" she pleaded, moving her hips and encouraging him to continue.

He immediately heeded her, withdrawing and the driving into her hard, entering fully and drawing a gasp from her. He grunted in counterpoint, and then lost all control, bucking into her again and again as he set a brutal pace.

There was no elegance in his claim on her this time; it was a matter of uncontrollable need, and the fear of their imminent parting. In his frenzy he could not last long, and indeed, that was not his aim. Soon enough, he gasped out her name and reached his end with a final thrust followed by a huge shudder.

For a moment he rested atop her, the majority of his weight held off her chest by leaning on his forearms as they each tried to catch their breath. Tahlya stroked his back and shoulders lovingly, even as he nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck and shoulder; apparently a favored place on her body Eventually, Cullen planted a firm kiss there, and then raised his head to meet her gaze. His cheeks were flushed; his eyes bright and he exuded a contented demeanor she'd never associated with him before.

"Well, now…" he husked, "where did I leave off….?"

Her head spun as he gave a sudden thrust, proving that he was still hard and ready for more. She groaned, and was about to make an appreciative comment when he kissed her silent, and with an amused look, resumed a leisurely pace.

This time, he kissed her, moving from her lips to her cheeks and down her neck. Wrapping an arm around her, he slid it beneath her to cup her buttocks and lift her up higher so that he could grind slowly against her.

It felt so good; he felt so good, that all she could do was cling to him and moan while he whispered lovingly to her of his devotion and her importance to him. While she found her second release, he held her pelvis firmly against him, groaning at the feel of her internal spasms, as he devoured her with his eyes.

She had barely recovered when he suddenly rolled over, taking her with him so that she ended up straddling him. As Tahlya fought to regain her breath, she looked down at the man beneath her.

Cullen encouraged her to lean in closer, and reaching up, began undoing her hair. When he was satisfied that there were no more pins or ties, he ran his fingers through her locks until her hair hung down in an orderly black curtain.

"Much better," he sighed. "My blue-eyed raven... how beautiful you are." Holding fast to her hips, he met her gaze with a smoldering expression.

"Blue-eyed raven, is it?" she asked with a smirk.

"Indeed. I find I quite like calling you that."

"Well, my lion, it seems that it is true that there is a correlation between a man's fighting prowess and his abilities in the bedroom." She grinned at the blush that instantly colored his face.

"I'all have you know that I once fought all day and night before exhaustion forced me to rest," he grunted. "And then I repeated the feat the very next day."

She raised an eyebrow. "So I've heard. That only proves my belief that the adage is correct."

He appeared wary. "So then; you've no complaints about my lack of experience?"

"Maker, no!" she replied. "I'm very grateful that I'm the only one who has experienced your… less lethal abilities. Otherwise, I'd have to fight off rivals at every turn."

Cullen relaxed visibly, as a pleased smirk appeared on his face. "Speaking of the correlation between fighting ability and the bedroom… I'm not certain I've gathered enough information to say if it holds true in your case."

She leaned down so that her lips were brushing his ear as she spoke. "Is that so?"

"You know it," he exhaled, with a shiver.

Quite some time later, exhausted and completely sated, she collapsed across him. After his challenge, she'd made certain to move slowly and stop frequently to demand his kisses. She'd prolonged their lovemaking, teasing him mercilessly along the way and soon discovered that the man's iron will was firmly back in place; that there was no way to push him to anything close to outright begging. Instead, he'd patiently suffered her teasing and endured until she'd surrendered and ended their frustration. They'd both found completion together.

While they lay there entwined in a sweaty tangle, Tahlya made a silent vow to herself that when she returned from her mission, that she would find a way to push him beyond his limits.

With a heartfelt sigh, Cullen rolled them onto their sides, kissing her gently while catching his breath. She felt herself starting to drift off, but fought it when he began gently stroking her arm.

"Mmmmm," she sighed appreciatively, opening her eyes to look at him. He looked as exhausted as she felt. "Cullen?"

"Hmmm?"

"What was it that you were saying earlier; just before…" here she blushed, as she tried to find the right words. "Before you, um…"

"Asserted my claim?" he asked, sounding amused, his breath in her ear.

She shivered in delight. "Yes. Was it part of the Chant? I am not familiar with it."

"It was part of the Canticle of Maferath," he replied.

"Maferath? That cannot be good," she teased.

"What can I say? I would not want to share you with the Maker, either…" he murmured.

She stroked his cheek. "It was a beautiful verse, my love," she soothed. "and I am definitely a fool for romantic ex-Templars."

He captured her hand and held it against his cheek. "What did you just call me?" he asked, suppressing a smile.

She smiled as she spoke. "I called you my love, and so you are. I think I knew it last night, but I doubted myself then. I was frightened by how quickly everything between us happened. The events of this past day, and the feelings they provoked in me, made me finally admit the truth to myself."

Her reward was a tight embrace, followed by another passionate kiss. "You've made me a very happy man," he sighed. "...now, if only I could go with you today… I think you could use my tactical advice."

She kissed his nose. "We will do what we must. I cannot justify risking you when I have the Warden Commander and the King of Fereldan already providing such advice."

Cullen sat up suddenly and stared towards the fireplace, the flickering light highlighting the scars that littered his face and body. He suddenly looked much older. When he looked back down at her, she could see he was worried. "You are right, of course, but that does not change how very difficult it is for me when you are off fighting and I must remain behind."

She sat up as well and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I am sorry for that. I cannot imagine how difficult it would be for me were our roles reversed."

He reached back to cover her hand with his own. "No matter; it is a soldier's lot in life to leave others behind or remain while friends move out. I have spent my entire adult life waiting and watching… and fighting when it was my turn." He gave her a weak smile. "In the meantime I shall endure, and defend this fortress, until you return."

It was then that Tahlya began feeling pain in her right hand and glanced down to see that her mark had flared to life. Quickly, she tucked her hand beneath her left thigh. "I know you will," she whispered, kissing him. "Now then; you must be famished," she said, changing the subject. "I know I am. Let's eat, and then try to get some sleep."

"Yes, you're right," he replied, standing and searching for his breeches. "Why don't you throw our bedclothes down before the fire while I retrieve our meal? We can lounge there for a time."

She smiled at him, but as soon as he left the room, she ran for her gloves, which were on a nearby chair and pulled one over her right hand. Then she wrapped her robe around her and set to throwing the quilts and pillows down on top of the bear skin rug in front of the fireplace.

She was both puzzled and worried by her mark's sudden reaction, and something had her second guessing her decision to leave her military advisor behind. There was no logical reason he would be needed, but she still felt a strange foreboding which her flaring mark seemed to reinforce.

Still feeling apprehensive, she sat down on the makeshift bed and began stoking the fire as Cullen returned with the food tray and a bottle of wine. He handed them off to her and went back for the glasses. By the time he'd returned, she was divvying up the bread, cheese and dried meat.

He settled in besides her, opened the wine and poured her a glass. They each drank gratefully and then set to eating.

After a time she carefully brought up the subject she needed to address. "If something should happen to me, someone will need to take over as Inquisitor, you know."

He nodded. "Of course. I nominate Cassandra," he offered.

"Why Cassandra?" she asked. "Don' t you know that her other loyalties prevent her from assuming the title?"

He gave her a strange look. "That is merely an excuse and not the true reason she refused the honor. But that is her choice. I am certain that if anyone could convince her otherwise it would be you."

She nodded. "She is not the person I had in mind."

He gave her a disapproving look as he realized what she was saying. "Tahlya, no," he quickly protested. "What good would I be to the Inquisition if I lost you? You cannot…"

She cut him off. "We both know that is not the case. I know you; you are here because you believe in this. If it comes to it and you must step up, I know that you will lead the Inquisition honorably. You have the strength of will needed to see it through; to make the tough decisions, and to delegate tasks to those best suited to carry them out. I myself only hold this position because I turned up at just the right time, in the right place, and with a story that proved useful. You are actually far better suited to the title."

"That is not true," he said, nodding towards her gloved hand. "You have a unique physical ability, and a true talent for cultivating loyalty." Here he frowned. "Why are you suddenly wearing your glove?"

He made a grab for her hand, and she moved it behind her. "In a minute," she stalled. "I chose you. Leliana, Josie and I already met and it was agreed to. I need you to agree to this as well."

He tossed back the rest of his glass and sighed. "It seems that I am unable to deny you anything. Fine; I'll agree to it, but you'd better come back to me, Tahlya."

She sighed in relief, but then grew playful. "Is that a threat?"

He shot her his sternest look. "It is."

"And what will you do if I don't return? How will you make good on your threat then?" she teased.

His eyebrows shot up, but then dropped down in a scowl. "Do not even jest about such things," he scolded her. "But if you must know; I would punish you by having my way with as many women here as I could."

She felt her mouth drop open, but then the mental image of him giving in to the advances of many pretty young ladies had her gritting her teeth as an ugly emotion overcame her. Then she heard him laugh heartily and snapped out of it.

"Oh, your face just then!" he continued. "Oh ho, but that would be a punishment indeed for you!"

"Fine," she spat. "I will make it back here even if I am nothing but a corpse. Then we shall see how much you still like me."

He threw an arm around her shoulders and pulled her too him as he tried to keep a straight face. "I am sorry, love, but you had that one coming. Just make sure you do come back, and you will have nothing to fear."

"Take it back…."

He suddenly sobered. "Come back to me and I will give you the opportunity to make me do so." It was then that he grasped her hand and pulled it up between them, at the same time sliding her glove off.

The glow from her fade mark lit his face eerily, highlighting his look of alarm. "What is happening? Why is it doing that now? Is there another rift?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so, and I really don't know why it suddenly sprang to life with such a vengeance."

He gave her a measuring look. "Truly; you don't know?"

"I do not. I suppose there is nothing we can do about it right now. Hopefully an explanation will be forthcoming soon." She felt very badly at the worried expression that was now visible on his face.

With an uneven sigh, Cullen ran a hand through his hair, and then gave her a quick kiss on the brow. "Come then, let's lay before the fire and try to get some sleep." Grasping her hand, he led her back to their makeshift bed and upon lying down, pulled her up close to him as she laid her head upon his shoulder.

Despite everything they almost instantly fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

><p>A knocking at her outer door woke her just as the sky was lightening. Pulling on her robe, she quickly made her way to the door and opened it just enough to converse with the person outside. It was Elsa, one of the women who helped her keep both her chambers, and her appointments in order.<p>

"Milady, you asked me to wake you just before dawn," she said quietly.

"Thank you, Elsa."

"Is there anything you need; breakfast, or a washtub?"

"No thank you; I'm fine. Please go ahead any lend help anywhere else you may be needed."

With a quick curtsy, Elsa moved off and Tahlya shut and locked the door. When she turned around she found that Cullen had moved into the room and was just out of sight of the doorway. For a long moment they just stared at each other, neither wishing to be the first to state the obvious.

Then, with a sudden shake of his head, Cullen advanced quickly and swung her up in his arms. Before she knew what was happening, he had her on her back across the bed and was feverishly kissing her as he undid his breeches. He wasted little time in entering her and proceeded to make love to her in a slow manner, holding her face between his hands and alternately kissing her or staring into her eyes.

Much too soon, they each found their release, and there was no longer any point in delaying the inevitable. Blushing furiously, she informed him that she needed to use the chamber pot and wash up.

Kissing her nose, he nodded and clambered off of her. "No need to be embarrassed," he said, with a sweet smile. "I need to release myself as well. I will withdraw to the outer room and you can meet me there."

"You're not going to urinate off my balcony, are you?" she asked wide-eyed.

He winked at her. "It is what most of the men here do; we've no need to use a chamber pot for that. But don't worry; I'll make sure I am not seen… and I won't splash anything or anyone either."

She threw a pillow at him as he backed through the doors and closed them. She was sure her face was beet red. Sadly the pillow only hit the door.

A short time later, after attending to matters and washing herself at her basin, she was dressed, her hair braided and tucked into the back of her armor so that no enemy might use it against her.

Moving to the doors, she threw them open and moved in to the outer room.

Cullen was waiting for her in front of the main doors leading to the corridor, fully dressed in his armor, his lion helm under his arm, and his face tight with the effort to hold back his emotions.

"I must say my farewell to you here," he sighed. "It would be unprofessional to do so in front of all our people… and it would be too difficult for me to do so then. Indeed, even now I find myself at a loss…"

She moved quickly to him then, and was rewarded with a strong bear hug even as tears began to spring up in her eyes. Then he was kissing her, crushing her lips against her teeth in his desperation to pour everything he was feeling into the act.

When he lifted his head and their eyes met, she could see him fighting back the tears, even as her own tracked down her face. "Fight well, my love," he murmured. "May the Maker protect you and speed you back to me."

Before she could speak, he'd released her, turned and exited the chamber. She could hear his heavy footfalls as they faded away down the corridor.

It was the loneliest sound she had ever heard.

**To be continued….**


End file.
